Harley Quinn + Joker OneShots

One and Only

It was nearing midnight in Gotham. The patients of Arkham were sent off to bed hours ago. However, one patient in particular was wide awake working away. Somehow all the parts he needed were easily sneaked in, courtesy of his "hired help" of course. The parts were coming together rather nicely. Just a few more minutes and they would be complete, then he could get away from this hell hole... he's been here too long, even by his standards. At last his work was complete. He looked at each one in awe and utter excitement.
'It's the perfect escape plan.' He thought.
It was simple, but effective. Bombs always were. At least for him anyways.
He carefully set on of them by the glass and took a few steps back.
3...2...1
The explosion rang through his ears in an almost soothing way. He took a deep breath as though the air was crisper and more refreshing than it was just a mere second ago. He dusted himself off as he triumphantly strolled out of his cell. The sirens started howling all around him, but he ignored them. He made his way past many cells with other patients....patients that just started getting up after the rather loud ruckus. He was about to turn to corner and head for the exist when a voice stopped him in his tracks.
"J?"
"Shit", he cursed under his breath as he reluctantly turned his body towards the timid noise.
Harley was standing right in her cell looking at him through the huge glass window.
She stared at him as he uneasily stared back.
"Yes.....deeeaaarrr?" He said, sneering rather loudly when he forced the word 'dear' out of his mouth. His teeth gritted as a forced smile was present.
Harley put her hands on her hips.
"You were gonna bust me out too? Weren't ya Puddin'?"
He clicked his tongue,"Well of course Pooh. Why would you ever even think otherwise?"
"Because you were just about to leave without me."
"What??" He mocked hurt "I would never do such a thing."
"Uh huh, sure", she said clearly unconvinced.
"Scouts honor!"
She narrowed her eyes,"You never were a scout."
"Look, I was gonna get you out-"
"Uh huh."
"I just needed to go and find Bono for more bombs to come back to get you."
"That so?"
"Well of course pumpkin pie!"
"Hmm okay, so you were gonna go find Bono for more bombs?"
"Yes."
"Because you ran out of bombs?"
"Well yes. I mean it does happen sweetie."
"I mean it does make sense-"
"See! I would never leave y-"
"Except you're holding a bomb right now and there's about three, maybe four sticking out of your pockets", she glared.
His smile dropped,"Well uh, you see uh.."
Harley rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Don't. I understand. You weren't going to save me cause ya didn't want to", she moped and hung her head low, "I guess I'll just wait here and maybe just maybe somebody will come and get me out that wants to....maybe a prince or something", she said sadly as she walked away from the window.
Joker sighed in frustration. He weighed his options. Leave Harley and deal with the consequences later or get Harley out now and maybe just maybe she'll get over it.
He sighed again in frustration as he quickly set up a bomb next to her window. He took a few steps back.
3....2....1....
He quickly walked in the cell as Harley turned around slightly shocked.
He held his hand out for her.
"Are you coming or not?"
She smiled and took his hand and they both started running towards the exit.
They made it to the getaway car and Joker hoped into the drivers seat. Silence filled the car for a few minutes as they sped down the streets of Gotham.
"Don't ever try that again", he said harshly.
She turned to him confused,"Try what?"
"You know what I meant. Trying to guilt me into something. Don't try it again."
"So wait....I made you feel bad about not planning to get me out?" She raised an eyebrow.
He scoffed,"Of course not."
She smirked slightly,"But if that were true, then why did you break me out?"
He slammed the breaks and turned to her with a hateful glare. Harley lost the smirk quickly and looked slightly scared.
"Do you want me to turn back?" He asked with venom.
"N-No sir."
"Thought so."
He turned back to the front and continued driving. Harley kept her mouth shut as she looked out the window.
They reached the hideout and quickly went inside. Bud and Lou raced towards Harley to meet her in the kitchen. She squealed and started giving them attention as they licked her face in joy from having their "mommy" return to them.
Joker stood behind Harley and glared.
'Harley didn't greet me like that when she saw me' he thought bitterly.
He scoffed to himself, but Harley noticed and turned around.
"What is it?" She asked nicely.
"Nothing", he spat back.
Harley's face fell and she looked away,"Oh...okay", she said sheepishly as she walked out of his way.
She slumped her way upstairs towards their bedroom.
Joker watched and sighed.
'Now I've upset her....again', he thought.
He slowly made his way up the stairs and to their bedroom. Harley was in the middle of removing her shirt when he entered the room. When she removed her shirt she noticed him and quickly covered herself with the shirt and looked away in embarrassment.
"S-sorry. I-I didn't know you w-were here and I-I know y-you don't like it when I c-change i-in front of you o-or sh-show off m-my b-body", she said and started making her way to the bathroom to finish changing in there instead, but Joker grabbed her arm. She looked back with uncertainty and a pinch of fear.
"It's fine Harley", he sighed.
She nodded slightly and walked back to where she stood before.
Joker rubbed his face from exhaustion and frustration. When he looked up Harley was wearing a huge t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. All of which hid her figure and basically every feature that was Harley.
'She's trying to hide....trying to not make me angry...' he thought to himself.
Joker took off his clothes aside from undergarments of course. Harley looked down and away from him the whole time. She didn't want to be caught staring, especially since she knew he didn't like it when she stared at him too much. Joker walked over to her and looked at her. Her eyes slowly looked up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head. He slowly and carefully lifted the huge t-shirt off her small frame and tossed it to the side, along with the extra baggy sweatpants, leaving her in just her undergarments as well. Again, Harley looked at him with confusion. They stared at each other for what seemed like a lifetime until Joker couldn't take it anymore. He pulled her into a hug. At first it shocked Harley, but she gently held him back even though she was still very confused. After a few moments he pulled back and looked at her. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, catching Harley by surprise.
"You don't have to hide yourself from me", he said softly against her forehead.
He squeezed her lightly, then pulled away from their embrace, but still managing to hold her hand. They both walked over to the bed and laid down. Joker pulled Harley close to him as he comforted her by running his fingers through her hair and occasionally planting light kisses on her head. She smiled blissfully and snuggled closer to him as she drifted off to sleep.