Risk

Chapter 9: Emilette

I walked through the dank halls of the headquarters of the Risk, drawing my cloak around me to keep from shivering. The last of us had just made it back; the ambush was over. The other children had gotten away. Only Julian was in our captivity. The thought that he was here again made me sick.

I made it to our main meeting area, where rebels were congratulating each other on a job well done. Something the likes of a party had broken out: there was food, cakes, and expensive wine laid out on one of the tables and people were milling about, talking about who knew what. The Master wasn't there, but I didn't have to ask to know where he was. Surely he was giving our 'special guest' a proper welcome.

I hated the thought that he was here because of me. Out of all the Holt children, I'd spent the most time with Julian, simply because were were the closest in age and because he was more tolerable than younger kids. We'd spent nights in the library, reading, and I'd sat with him as he finished his studies (Julian really did not like studying). The king and queen were okay with our friendship, as long as it stayed just that.

And it was just that.

Friendship.

Now that I'd betrayed him and his family to the Risk, I couldn't stand how guilty I felt. I hurt them. I hurt Julian.

I tried not to think about what could be happening to him.

Instead, I decided to try and enjoy myself at this party. The Risk had had very little to celebrate about for months, so this was a nice change for most. I pushed through the crowd, trying to get to the refreshment table, but once I got near, I realized that I wasn't in the mood for food. In fact, if I tried eating anything, I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. Guilt never makes a good appetite.

I moved away from the table, stopping in a little secluded corner of the room. My stomach churned and I grabbed a lone chair for support.

"Are you alright?" A voice asked. I turned to where the person had spoken and saw the tall, well-built figure of my best friend, Beau. He was holding a glass in his hand and there was concern in his blue eyes, which led me to believe that I wasn't doing a great job of masking my guilt.

I cleared my throat and tried to look innocent. "Yes, I'm fine," I said, smiling slightly.

Beau didn't buy it, which wasn't a surprise. We knew each other way too well. We'd been friends since we were six years old. My father and his mother had been best friends when they were young, so that pretty much made me and Beau best friends as default. We'd lived very close to each other. Had grown up together. Had gone through school together. Officially joined the Risk together. He'd been right by my side when I'd been appointed my position as a maid in the royal castle. Had said it was alright if I didn't want to go there and put myself in danger. Had said he'd figure out something to tell the Master.

Now, that had been at a time when I was just like every other member of the Risk, when I'd loathed the Holt family with a passion. That was before I'd gotten to know King Quinten and Queen Jacqueline. Before I'd become friends with Laurence, Zachariah, and Ceanne. With Julian. Before I'd spent all that time with Julian. Before I'd realized how nice he was. How caring, and brilliant, and hands-

"Emi?"

I pulled myself back from the precipice of regret and guilt that resided in my mind. It seemed like I was dangling over that precipice a lot lately.

"Really, I'm fine," I said again. "Just a little tired." I thought this would be a good enough lie, seeing as I had been awake for the majority of the night, lying in wait with the rest of the Risk. It seemed good enough for Beau, who smiled and nudged my elbow slightly.