Always. (Divergent- The Epilogue)

Part 2- Aftermath

6 months later

I'm standing atop the Hancock building. I left Emily a few weeks ago, because she just made me feel worse. She made me realise how much I wanted Tris, how much I needed her. I can't be with a doppelgänger, because that is not going to help.

She may look like Tris, but she will never, ever be able to behave like her. Tris always did the unexpected. She was curious, she was courageous, she was selfless. She was Divergent.

I am never going to be able to forget her. How can I? My life was meaningless without her. I was like an empty shell, walking around and doing my job, but not really living.

Then she came into my life. The selfless, quiet Abnegation girl who jumped first. The girl who never thought of herself, only of others. That's when I first noticed her, when I first noticed her sky blue eyes, filled with determination. She was unlike any other, and she always left me speechless.

I still see the time when she died, like it happened just yesterday. The pain was so bad it's impossible to put it into words. I wanted to take a dagger and repeatedly shove it into my stomach, to take me away from here, from this horrible world, from all the pain I was left with. It was as if I had lost the part of me I needed the most, the part that told me how to function and got me through every painstaking day. I was broken beyond repair. My world was shattering all around me, falling into bits and pieces onto the ground. I wanted to pick them up, to sort out my life, but I didn't know how to. I didn't know how to live without Tris. The prospect of it seemed unimaginable. The future was unseeable- I was alone, I was ruined, I was empty.

Tris didn't deserve to die. She was betrayed and broken time and time again, yet she still seeked to help others. She sacrificed herself for the good of others. She was so heartbreakingly brilliant, it made everyone else seem unappealing in the process.

Emily will never be able to be my Tris.

I think of all this as I stand on the Hancock building, looking at Chicago spread out beneath me. I'm shivering. I hate being up so high- it feels like every vein in my body is frozen, I can't move, and I don't know what to do.  

"Tris," I whisper. It's the only thing I can think of.

Tris emerges in front of me. I know she isn't real, that she is just an image frozen in my mind, that she is just a memory, but that's enough. I need her the most right now, and here she is.

She is so precious. I want to wrap her tiny body against mine, and hold her tight and never let her leave again. Never. At least I get to die with her. She and I will jump off this building together. My greatest fear, might even become my greatest weakness.

"I'm sorry, Tris. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't kiss you one last time. I'm sorry." I say, tears streaming down my face.

I gaze into her eyes, and forget about everything else. We are meant to be together. When I die, I'll be happy. I'll be reunited with all my loved ones. Mostly though, I will be reunited with Tris. There's nothing in the world I want more than that. We will be together forever, just like I promised her, before she died. I look into her eyes and think of summer skies. I step onto the ledge of the building.

I give her one last kiss, a kiss filled with longing and hope. I'm going to see her again. I'm going to be with her again. She is mine, and I am hers.

She smiles at me and places her warm hand into mine, our fingers interlocking.

We can have a new beginning.

Four and Six will be united once again.

"Stay strong, Tris." I whisper.

And we jump.