Espresso Love (A Dystopian Japan Novel) #Wattys2014

Making Ripples

-Making Ripples-

For the next several weeks, there hadn't been much change. Things weren't happening faster than she expected. It was only an amplified precursor, a dramatized opening sequence to a play or symphony. Something to paint an obvious picture, that what we did was not to be tolerated. They were confident we had received the message. And so it was as if the Images had decided their job was complete. No more did we come across flickering visuals, or appearances of tall men in black. All was quiet.

At one point, I wondered if They had holidays and a leave of absence with the System. I wondered if they had an insurance package or a pension plan. Or if their teeth acquired cavities and if their joints ached in the winter. I wondered if they needed food and water. If they preferred a specific type of cuisine or drinks, as a reflection of their former selves. And I wondered if I were to reach out and touch them, whether my hand would pass through like a projection, a paddle through water, or if they had any physical substance. Would it be strange if I extended a handshake? Would they take it or would they treat me as a threat?

Aside from the Images, we decided Sounds would be an appropriate name for her espre compatriots. Since they could hear thoughts, she agreed. Images and Sounds, the complete package. I asked if we would recognize the Sounds, or be able to tell when they were here. To my dismay, she didn't know. I had expected Shizuka's connection to the Collective meant answers, but instead, it offered more riddles and unanswered questions. Espres are not able to feel one another, she explained, there are no unique qualities or signatures of the espre psyche. It's no different from a normal human being. Even when in communion with the Collective, a so-called transcendental "psychic experience", there aren't any recognizable wavelengths. I asked, once again, how we would know, to which, she replied that she wouldn't, until they approached her, and that at the right time they would know for sure.

The fact that there hadn't been any developments was perhaps more unsettling than if we had an army of suits tailing us. Every now and then, we would spot a man wearing black and presume we were being followed. Half of the time, it would turn out to be just that, a man wearing black. There was no way to be sure. Our nerves were wound tight and stretched thin, our sinews tangled into a knot. Every moment began to feel like hours, and hours like days. Days and weeks accumulated into years. And every step we took became charged with intense paranoia. We would look around with our peripheral vision more than we would watch the path ahead.

It took a toll on us. Shizuka Kaneko was knowledgeable and intelligent but I began to understand how limited her mind was. I began to understand we were still susceptible to human emotions and tragic flaws. We also began to understand the power of the System. Even when there was nothing visible, nothing obvious, nothing concrete, its power was still there. It breathed down our necks, pressed sweaty palms on our shoulders, wrapped ropes around our necks and chained our feet to the earth. We are not in control of our cards in the game.

As a result, she decided that it was safer to stay together each day; we would only separate to return to our respective apartments late at night. I couldn't decide whether it was like having a pet or a vengeful shadow. On the days I attended classes, she assumed herself as a student. In the evenings, when friends would meet for a drink, she would be my girlfriend. When I had to work part-time on weekends at a Singaporean restaurant, she ate alone in one of the corners, watching my every action.

My high school friends routinely met for drinks on Friday nights, and they had been genuinely surprised the first time. They had no bearings to congratulate me or give Shizuka a once-over. They had been more in shock. Eyes wide, mouths open. Drinks fizzing. Not because of her charm, but shocked because it wasn't normal. It was bizarre. Because it suddenly violated Etiquette, derailing the circuit of repetition, a glitch in the System. I hadn't been looking for a girlfriend and wasn't meant to have one.