Blue Comes Through

Chapter Twelve

Finn is coming back down the steps as I approach. He stills when he sees me and waits at the bottom for me to walk towards him. He's wearing black jeans and a short grey wool coat which is open and I can see a smart shirt which is a shade somewhere between lilac and blue. It's the most formal I've seen him. His hands are in the front pockets of his jeans, pushing the jacket open. His expression is hard to read in the muted low level lights.

"Hi." I say as casually as I can, brushing past him and climbing the steps.

He says nothing, but follows me to the top and is close behind me as I swipe the key card against the sensor. I can feel his warmth and smell that scent and I remind myself that I need to be strong. The door opens with a click and I put the bag on the kitchen table, busying myself closing curtains and shutters and switching on lamps.

When I turn back, he's closed the door and is standing just inside the living area, but now his hands are in the pockets of his coat. There's an air of uncertainty about him. I think it's the first time I've seen him anything but relaxed. I find that a bit gratifying and it bolsters me for the conversation ahead.

"Drink?" I ask and he shakes his head. I think I need one and go to open the fridge and look at a bottle of wine, but decide against it. I've already had champagne. I can't use alcohol as a crutch. I take out milk instead and fill the kettle.

I can feel Finn's eyes on me as I move around the kitchen but he says nothing and I want to ask him if I've rendered him mute for a change.

"Where's Will?" he asks eventually, as I flick the switch of the kettle and turn back to him.

"He's down at the Gallery. Carey is watching him for me, just whilst I get ready. I'd forgotten about their party. I've got to know Carey quite well in the last couple of days." I'm justifying leaving Will with somebody which is a bit ridiculous, but he just nods and takes a few more steps into the room.

"Sam and Josh have gone on down. I just wanted to try and catch you. I didn't know if you were going."

I make a face. "It's not really my thing." I shrug "But Carey is persuasive."

He gives me a small smile and I take a deep breath.

"I'm glad you've called in actually. I thought I'd see you later, but as you're here..." He's looks expectant and I lean back against the work top, folding my arms a little defensively.

"Finn. I really want to work for you. I really want the job."

He frowns. "You've got the job, Maddie. I told you that last night. Nothing's changed. I said I'd pick you up next week to move you in. That's why I'm here, to make sure you weren't going to bolt."

"Something has changed though." I look at him levelly. "We both know that." He goes to speak but I interrupt him. "Look, I know you said it was just a kiss and not to over think this. But I don't think you've thought about it enough."

He's says nothing, but his eyes don't leave my face and I think he understands that I need to vent. Potential homelessness has given me backbone it seems. I pull out a kitchen chair and sit down, fiddling with the spoon in the sugar bowl as ponder where to start.

"Finn, on Sunday night, the man I was living with beat me because his shirts weren't ironed quite to his satisfaction. On Monday morning he pushed me up against the hand basin and forced me to have sex because he had to be 'sorted out' before he went on his trip. A month ago he beat me because I was late back from a friends, a few months before that, because we'd been out and he said I had too much to drink and he said I'd flirted with other men all night."

I look up from the spoon to see Finn's reaction, but other than a rigidity to his jaw and a little nerve ticking in his cheek, he's not giving much away.