Caged Bird // Jessica Jones

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It had been exactly 48 hours before I heard a voice, then beeps and finally a click. At that time, I was sitting on my bed, awaiting my expected visitor to arrive.

Footsteps echoed through my apartment, heavy, brown shoes clashing against the wooden surface. A paper bag rustled as it clanged against my kitchen table - I guessed groceries.

I made my way to my kitchen, cautious knowing Kilgrave could have the same drugs from a few nights ago.

"Hello, darling." Seeing him in full detail made me want to gag. Thoughts and voices rammed into my mind, possessing the memories that stalked my dreams.

Kilgrave stood gracefully, wearing his purple, silk suit as if it were his skin. A smirk stitched his lips, knowing he had control. I could kill him right now. I could rip him to bits right now. And yet he was smiling.

"Ah, Jessica, but killing him wouldn't do much would it? You've seen him 'die' twice now and yet look who's in front of you." His voice whispered in my mind, as if my consciousness used him as its ring.

"I brought some food for us," his hand struck the bag suddenly. "I want us to have dinner together. We need time together if we want to be as close as we possibly can."

I stared in silence. I didn't want to say anything, I knew it'd only make things worse.

"Jessica, this isn't like you," Kilgrave laughed a little. "You always had something to say back to me." He kissed my chin with his soft finger. "Have you realised what you did wrong? Well, don't worry, I forgive you."

His lips touched my cheek for a second and then he came back, smiled and carried in emptying his paper bags. Not knowing what else to do, I helped. I could feel him watching me, but I attempted to ignore it. I'd do as he wanted, acted on it until I thought of a decent plan.

"We can make Amatriciana," Kilgrave hinted as I glanced at the ingredients, which matched all the things needed to make it.

"Sure," I smiled back, gazing at him for a moment then back at the unpacked shopping.

"Good." He seemed stunned, as he thought I would shout and scream. I guess I could, but I tried that before and that ended in nothing but intoxication and blood.

By the time we had finished unpacking the shopping, the table was filled with food fit for the next few days. But over a week for just one person - I guessed Kilgrave would stay for a while before leaving again.

"How was your day?" I asked him, trying to sound happy with his presence and not wanting to hide and cry.

"Yes, it was okay. I watched the rugby, then I went shopping," he sounded suspicious but pleased at the same time. But I know that was not all that he did, he'd never tell me what he really did. What people he had forced to clean up after him, to hurt themselves and others around them. "How about you?"

"I had a lovely day." I beamed, which made him smile back. "I couldn't wait for you to come, I had been waiting for ages. I was getting lonely."

"You've spent the last year alone, Jessica. Was my visiting that significant?" Kilgrave gripped my hand, worried about me.

"I was filled with so much regret, I realised that killing you was such a horrible, disgusting idea. You were only trying to love me, and I took you for granted. I'm so sorry for what I did to you," I brought him into me, my arms gripping so strong in a loving way. "Please don't leave me again."

"I won't Jessica. I love you," he hugged me back, patting my hair, "I promise I won't you leave you alone like that again."

Although really not wanting to, I kissed him. I kissed him like I meant it, like I really loved him. I had been forced so many times that I was practically a professional. With my eyes closed, I pressed myself further into him, leading him into the living room where I pushed him onto the couch, and I pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." I swiftly lifted myself from him, stumbling away as if nervously backing up. All I wanted to do was to wash my mouth, and my whole body.

"That was amazing, Jessica. I didn't think -" he stopped mid sentence, still astounded. "Are you drunk, Jessica?" Kilgrave was still in disbelief, still visible in his voice.

"No, my love, I'm sober," I smiled sweetly, reaching for his hand. Sudden and gentle, his fingers rubbed against mine before carefully lacing them together so he could get up. "Why'd you ask?"

"I don't understand, Jessica. You are supposed to hate me."

"I don't want to hate you anymore, I want to be happy with you." I tried not to throw up. "I pushed away all my friends, everyone I loved. I realised that you were the only one who loved me. Really, truly loved me."

"I can't believe it. I really can't." His face seemed so pleased, so excited. But there was something in his voice, something eerie and corrupt; his face changed swiftly. Back to his determined, disappointed scowl. "Grab a knife, Jessica."

Thinking I was no longer controlled by him, I stood there, staring. My head shifted and peeled back any other sanity. I screamed so loud, but nothing came out as my body took me to the kitchen, ripping open the drawer. My fingers snaked around a cool metal knife - its keen edges made me sweat with fear. My body took me back to Kilgrave.

"I knew you were lying Jessica." He smirked as I faced him. He brought his lips to my ear. "I know you better than yourself. I control you. Don't ever think your going to get away from me." He came back to face me, as I became drowned in his stare. "Cut your hand, Jessica."

Tears began to consume me as blood began to flood from my palm.