Catch Me I'm Falling - A Larry Stylinson Fanfic

Chapter 16

March 2nd - Day 46

Basically, I felt like crap. The first time, I definitely remembered the chemo being worse than the actual cancer, but this exceeded my worst expectations. I’d been cuddled up on the couch all afternoon with a half finished bowl of applesauce, alternating between moaning complaints at Liam and throwing up.

“Liam.” I whined, tossing one of my pillows back in the general direction of the dining room. “Liam fiiix itttt.”

I heard a sigh, then Liam’s feet padding over to me, placing the pillow back into my waiting arms. “Lou honestly, I can’t make dinner if you’re going to be pathetic. I can’t make this better.”

I looked up at him, the upset tilt to him mouth, dark circles underneath his eyes. He reached for my shoulders, massaging them with careful fingers. Sometimes I forgot that I wasn’t the only one affected by my illness. It was Liam who helped wash my sweat stained sheets, who brought me food I wasn’t going to be able to keep down, who drove me back from chemo when I couldn’t. It was Liam who was going to have to go to my funeral and read some speech about how hard I fought and how strong I was. A lot of times I was pretty sure he was stronger than me. 

“I know.” I gave him a smile, trying my best to look chipper, despite the cement that seemed to fill my veins. “I’m okay. Sorry about bothering you, that’s pretty shitty of me.”

He smiled back, ruffling a gentle hand through my hair. “I don’t mind all that much. If you weren’t being insufferable and annoying, then I’d really be worried.”

“Don’t think I’ll ever stop doing that.” I replied, leaning back into his fingers.

“Good.” He tapped my head twice, heading back into the kitchen. “You going to be up for dinner?”

“I’m going to try.” I called back to him, the urge to throw a tantrum still not quite gone. It wasn’t that I was mad at any particular thing, more just a general frustration at my inability to be a functioning human. I’d had to take a few days off work to deal with this whole dying thing, and it was putting me in a bit of a funk. I loved my job and my patients, and having to cancel appointments for any reason always bothered me.

I picked up my phone, texting the one person who never failed to make me feel better. Not to mention that I was fairly sure he would be out of chemo by now and I wanted to make sure he was okay, even though there really wasn’t much I could do if he wasn’t.

6:35 Louis

Ready to run that marathon yet?

He replied a minute later, bringing a reluctant smile to my face despite the leaden feel of my limbs and the off taste in my mouth.

6:36 Harry

You woke me up. I feel terrible. I’m going to kill you.

I let out a small coughing laugh, typing out my reply. It was times like these that I wished we lived together, that I had the empty bed next to Harry’s, or that he could share mine, because if we were both going to feel like crap, I’d much prefer to do it with him.

6:37 Louis

Do I have to come over there are kiss it better?

6:37 Harry

I’d probably throw up on you.

6:37 Louis

That wouldn’t be all that much fun. See you tomorrow after appointments?

I leaned back into my corner of the couch, spooning a bit of applesauce into my mouth as I waited for his reply. I could feel the desire to drift into a dour mood pushing at the edges of my consciousness, something I was desperately trying to avoid. I couldn’t let this get to me.