Catch Me I'm Falling - A Larry Stylinson Fanfic

Chapter 24

April 28th - Day 100

He’d forgotten me twice more since Thursday, once for a fleeting moment that he thought I hadn’t noticed and another time for nearly the day. Maybe it should have gotten easier, but it only seemed to hurt a little more each time, the fear the he wouldn’t come back growing inside me like a different kind of tumor.

It had started to get cold in Harry’s room, especially in the mornings. They’d just started up the air conditioning for the Spring months and it gave the room an artificial chill that only served to make my skin even clammier than usual. We’d fallen asleep together the night before, something that was becoming a common occurrence as it became harder and harder for us to stay awake, tiredness growing into one of our most defining traits. It was nice in a sad sort of way, sleeping away our last months together, waking up with a familiar body tucked into my side. 

It was getting to be that my own bed felt almost empty, the twin sized frame too large for my thin bones, too cold for me to ever completely warm up. It became nearly routine, falling asleep beside him, waking up in his arms and trudging to the bathroom for a hot shower. The sleeping pills helped a little with the night sweats, but I didn’t think they’d ever truly go away, forever leaving a thin line of moisture at the nape of my neck, making my skin stick. 

He was usually awake when I returned, barely so, eyes bleary as he offered me a soft smile, opening the covers for me to crawl back in to. In the afternoon I’d go home for a few hours to get fresh clothes and catch up with Liam, but my world was narrowing, a sphere in which there was barely more than Harry and I, carrying on through the soft mornings and nights.

I’d just climbed back into his bed, my arms wrapped up in a hoodie I was pretty sure was Harry’s but might have been mine, when he rolled over to tangle me in his arms “Good morning.”

I smiled. “Good morning. Headache today?”

He shook his head. “Nothing unbearable.” A pause, and then. “You okay?”

I gave him a soft smile, letting my hand thread around his waist, running underneath his shirt so I could feel his skin under mine. “I’m okay.” I could feel the half lie swimming just underneath the surface. I’d learned after my most recent test that my body wasn’t responding all that well to the chemo, that they were going to put me on one of those clinical trials, things that, as Hazel said, were famous in the republic of cancervania for not working. I shook the thoughts from my head, instead changing the subject. “I’ve been thinking.”

He gave me an faintly amused smile. “Oh no.” 

I stuck the tip of my tongue out in response. “Be quiet, you.”

His little smile lost some of its mirth but none of its warmth. “So what were you thinking about?”

“You know how in The Fault In Our Stars they write each other obituaries?”

He nodded, wriggling a little bit in my arms, ever restless as usual. “Yeah?”

I gave him a a hopeful smile. “I think we should do that.”

He bit his lip, then nodded once. “Alright.”

I pecked him quickly on the lips. “We can make Zayn and Niall do it too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

May 1st - Day 103

It had taken the better part of the two days for me to get my speech together. I was normally a decent writer, or at least an efficient one, but after confronting myself with a blank sheet of paper I found I couldn’t seem to figure out how to put my heart upon it.