No Turning Back

Giving Up

When I told Jayden to call me when he wasn't busy, I thought I meant that I wanted him to call me period. It's been a month since graduation and I haven't heard from my boyfriend or seen him since then. I've tried to call him multiple times but he hasn't been answering. I stopped by his uncle's apartment too but each time, Alex told me that he wasn't home. I even went by his uncle's building where he worked to see if he was there but he wasn't. Hell, his uncle wasn't there either. I couldn't help but to worry about him since he had apparently fallen off of the grid. A part of me worried that he may be avoiding me because maybe he found some new boyfriend and he didn't want me around anymore. But a part of me felt stupid for even thinking that. Jayden loved me. He wouldn't just leave me in the dust without giving me a proper farewell.

I picked up my cell phone and once again dialed his number. Today was his birthday so I was hoping that he would at least let me talk to him for the sake of it. I'd brought him a new gold watch as well as some cologne that he liked. I wanted to deliver the gifts to him on his actual birthday so that I could see him. It had been such a long while since I'd gotten to look into his beautiful green eyes. I longed to see them again.

"Hello," I heard his accented voice say. I felt myself perk up at the sound of his voice.

"Jayden, hey," I said.

"Who's this?"

"It's Daniel...your boyfriend."

"Daniel...? Do I know a Daniel?"

"Jayden, stop fucking with me." He chuckled deeply on the other end.

"You were about to flip shit, weren't you white boy?" I sighed.

"You're a terrible person, you know that."

"True but I don't hear you complaining about it when we're together now do I?" I blushed softly. "So, what's up?"

"Happy birthday," I told him. "You're the big nineteen today."

"Oh...yea..." I crinkled my eyebrows together in confusion.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jayden replied quickly, his voice turning into the hard state that it always gets in whenever I ask him that question. "I just...I forgot that it was my birthday."

"Your uncle didn't wake you up screaming about how old you're getting like he usually does?" Jayden hesitated for a moment on the other end.

"He's not exactly happy with me right now... Do you wanna come over? I miss you." My stomach fluttered with joy at the sound of his last sentence.

"Sure. I'll be over in about an hour, okay?"

"I'll be waiting," he said simply before hanging up. Unconsciously, a smile came upon my lips. My energy started to go up a bit, my giddiness starting to fill my body. I quickly got up out of my bed and hopped into the shower. I made sure to make sure that I used my good body wash as well as put on my good cologne. I dressed in a nice blue cotton button up shirt that had some tattoo designs on it. Jayden had gotten it for me for...something. I don't remember. I just remember that he had given it to me and then told me that it brought out my eyes. I paired the shirt with a pair of jeans and sneakers. After running a brush through my hair, I hurried out the door.

The drive to Jayden's uncle's house was pretty peaceful and not very long since I didn't have to go all the way across town like I used to have to do when he used to live with his mom. My mind flashed back to that terrible night when his family was killed. I couldn't get the image of him breaking down out of my mind. The Jayden I knew would rather die than cry in front of me so I knew that he was really broken by the events that went down that night. While he may have been out of whack for the next couple of weeks after that, I don't think that he was going to be okay. Sure, he let his ice wall go back up and tried to bottle in whatever he was feeling inside but I saw past that. He still wasn't okay. He was just too full of pride to show it.