Life is strange and moments are stranger, unsolved puzzles. It is always in the sudden embraces where lie the secrets of comfort. And today, I had discovered that secret. Tadashi touching me, holding my hand or hanging onto me like I was the edge of the cliff and he would fall in the abyss if he let go, effected me and I knew because my nerves were aware of him.
It should have scared me. It didn't. And that scares me more.
Tadashi found Haruhi kissing another girl. That was sure to rub his ego the wrong way. But I was feeling his pain like a mirror would soak his image. I wonder now, if he wanted me to feel it. The subtle glints of an unloved man he always kept well hidden. He never let me see past that beautiful, friendly smile or the absolutely clear, steady eyes looking into the distance at a set destination that somehow vanished when he crumbled and took my support as a friend. He relied on me and I felt honored for he was so vulnerable.
Never before had I seen him let go of himself so completely, so naturally. As if I was the confession box and he was telling me his deepest fears, his lies and tears.
And just like that, I came to an epiphany that something had changed after today. Something inside me, within me. A sudden shift in my existence took place after I saw him today for all he was and what those eyes reflected.
An absolutely lethal, contagious fear of being left alone.
And I saw myself in him, in that moment, and he saw me the same - stripped off of our guards, beyond our facades of happiness, how truly lonely we were and how we had lied about being happy in this world. After months of friendship, we saw each other, existing only in that infinite moment.
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All the inner turmoil of Madiha, a turmoil soon to turn into an everlasting hurricane.
Thank you. I love you all.
Thank you for sticking with this story and with Tadashi & Madiha.
