without you | gallavich

Ch. 7

I am going to see her - the mother of the little girl that died.
- Mickey 

Mickey crawled out of his bed, grabbing onto the single crutch he used. It would be the first time he has gotten out of bed willingly without having an appointment with any doctors or using the washroom. It has been a week since his father was in here, but Mickey still didn't like having company around. Lip and Mandy would stand in windows, watching him before leaving hand in hand. Carl and Debbie still bounced into here, but it wasn't the same. Debbie made sure that the plush she gave Mickey was sitting directly beside his pillow at all times.

It wasn't that he didn't like them around - it wahs more along the lines of the fact he felt like he was an endangerment to them. Mandy had gotten hurt because of him, Ian was in a coma because of him, a little girl died because of him. He was the worst person to be around.

He hobbled down the hall, his eyes scanning over the different room numbers before looking down at the numbers on his hand. He remembered the way the nurse gave him a sad look before telling him the room number. "I don't normally do this," she had told him. "But you're not leaving me alone about it." Now, here he was, standing in front of the room with a sudden wave of nerves washing over him. What if the woman yelled and screamed, demanding him to leave? What if she knew what he felt - like it was all his fault? What if-?

"Don't be shy, honey," the stranger called out, her head slightly turning towards the door. "I don't bite." Mickey gulped down the heavy lump in his throat and hobbled into the room, his head low. He slowly sat down on a chair angled towards the woman's bed before looking up slowly, biting his lip gently. He didn't know what to say. Or do.

"You were in the other car, yes?" Mickey nodded, tilting his head his head as he studied the woman. She was curled up in a blanket, her hands shaking as she fidgeted with a piece of string. Her face was ghastly and hollow, but she was beautiful. Her dark brown eyes were filled with hope and her olive skin was covered in bruises, but she looked as if she was recovering well from the collision.

"My daughter was a beautiful girl. She could light up the entire room with her personality." Mickey dropped his head in shame as he heard the woman's tone of pain and sadness, but he quickly looked up once he felt her hand on his shoulder. She smiled softly, her eyes wide as she searched his blue eyes for something. Finally finding it, her voice grew soft and gentle as she began to speak.

"You were in the car with someone?" Mickey nodded once again, biting his lower lip and shying away from her gaze. The thought of Ian made him both sick to his stomach yet on a high all at once. The lady laughed before continuing on. "I know, I know. He's someone important to you but I do know he's still hanging on. Go spend time with him, okay? Spend as much time as you can before anything happens. It could happen anytime." Mickey stood up with a soft smile on his face, his mind repeating the woman's sentences over and over until it all clicked.

She didn't think Ian was going to make it.

Stumbling down the hall, Mickey struggled to blink away the tears that threatened to fall. He knew that Ian was in bad shape but hearing the words out of someone else's mouth made it all the more worse. The thought of Ian possibly leaving now, when he needed him the most was the worst feeling of all.

'Ian?' Mickey mouthed gently, his eyes scanning the room he found himself standing in. He didn't know how long he had been standing there but his chest clenched at the sight of his boyfriend; he looked so peaceful. Mikey slowly moved towards the bed, sitting on the edge until he found the courage to place his hand over Ian's, trembling. The redhead's hands were warm but unmoving. They felt foreign - like the ghost of a home that was never found.

'I miss you,' Mickryvmouthed as he pressed his chapped lips against Ian's soft palm. Mickey let the hand drop down to the bed as he re-positioned himself to be curled into Ian's side. His cool fingers cupped the redhead's cheeks as he brought himself to press a gentle kiss on the younger boy's forehead. He missed this. The feeling of being loved, like someone actually needed him. Moving his head, Mickey pressed his head against Ian's chest and let his eyes slowly flutter shut. It was the safest he had felt since he last felt Ian's lips against his own.

_______________________

Mickey couldn't figure out what was happening. Florescent lights shone brightly into his eyes as the feeling of being pushed increased. His hands trembled violently as he reached out for a sense of security but there was none. His throat felt aflame but nothing could ease the wretched feeling in his gut.

"I'm just taking you back to your room, honey. There is no need to panic." Mickey finally opened his eyes, adjusting to the glare of the hall lights. He looked down and saw he was wrapped up in the blanket that Ian had loosely covering his frame earlier. He wanted to know what was happening but the loud shrill of 'Dr. Major, Room 137b' over the P.A. system interrupted his trail of thoughts while confirming his worst fear. That was Ian's room.

"We'll do our best to take care of him. He is in good hands," the nurse tried to console as she watched Mickey struggle in his chair. She helped him onto his bed, despite his constant attempts to fight her and get her to bring him back. Pulling the chair just got of reach, the nurse gave him a bittersweet smile before turbing in her heel and muttering about how their pagers should be fixed.

Cold and alone, Mickey couldn't fight the ill feeling that settled on him.All he could think of, is if the woman hadn't told him to go, would Ian be okay?

_______________________

You set off a Code. The nurse gave a sick smile.
You flatlined. Twenty-eight days.
- Mickey