To: Ian Clayton Gallagher
This letter is a mess, I promise you. It is filled with shitty fucking emotions and I can't handle them. I can't. You came into my life with wide fucking green eyes and hair shaggier than an emo, but you are leaving with closed eyes and a precise, professional haircut.
I need to accept the facts.
I have been depending on you for far too long to help me escape my own ducking life and I have let you in to the point where I'm scared to let you go. And now, you're gone.
So, I'm going back to being me. Not the guy that you turned me into, but the one that you fell in love with in the first place.
My God, I love you.
I love your stupid fucking red hair and your fucking green eyes that look like emeralds and your stupid smile. That smile made me so happy even when you were being a little shit and wouldn't back off, but that's who you are. That is just the oblivious boy who couldn't tell the difference between pain and love. I'm sorry so many people hurt you - including me.
You changed, though. Your eyes changed from being filled with hope and glee to cold. I could still see the life behind them but you shut off from the world and got lost in your own head. I can see it all, Ian. I really can. You're still that young naïve boy at heart but you just became better at hiding it so no one would hurt you. Doesn't life suck? You're stuck in the shadows of your screwed up sister and your alcoholic brother but you don't want to be. You just want to be Ian, not just another Gallagher. And you are. You're so much more than the title you were born with and I hope you learned that.
I'm sorry.
For all those times I hurt you and degraded you just because I was ashamed. You hurt me and I hurt you. It was a relentless end but it was the greatest thing in my life. You gave me a purpose that I never knew I needed. You gave me a reason to get better and stop living.. Well, like a bum. I'm sorry for hurting you and making you think that you needed to change.
I love you, Ian. I do.
- Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich
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without you | gallavich
Fanfiction"He's, uh, he's in critical condition, Mick." Mickey just wanted some ice cream. He didn't mean for the night to turn out the way it did; blood and glass converging into one with his boyfriend's breaths fading to almost nothing.
