𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨/𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 [𝟏] ✓

ix. stories

"Ade, it's me." Tom's voice was soft against the patter of Adeline's tv playing. It seems all that she watched anymore was E! News, since all they seem to report on was her, Tom, and their 'relationship'. It was tiring to the young girl, because really, she didn't even know what was going on between them. Maybe this conversation would clear it up. With that in mind, she muted the tv before going to open the door, a half smile on her lips.

"Hey, Tommy." She moved so he could come in, smiling fully when he did.

"Hey. So we need to talk...?" He trailed off, and she nodded, chewing on her lip. Ade sat on the edge of her bed, a smile appearing on her face before she let it fall again. 

"Look, Tom..." she started, looking down, but he sat down beside her and cut her off.

"Ade, I don't-"

"No, let me finish, okay? Please. I need to say this, and then you can say what you need to say. But I asked you to come here and talk, which means I get to first, okay?" she met his gaze this time, and while he looked stunned, he nodded anyway and fell silent. She took a deep breath before speaking, knowing very well that what she was about to tell him could make or break whatever they were.

"Look, Tom, I don't know... what we are, because we can't deny there's not something here, but it's not a relationship and it's not a friendship. And we've only known each other for what, a week and a half? Two weeks? There's no way I would date you now because of that, but later- I'm getting ahead of myself. Look, I need to tell you something, because I don't tell many people it, and I feel like if I ever want to stand a chance with you, it's something you need to know." She watched him nod, watched his facial expression go from slightly scared to confused, and found it in herself to go on. 

"I haven't dated anyone in two years, which I've told you. But the truth is, it wasn't a bad relationship that made me not want to date again. The relationship was beautiful, but... Jaxon Smythe meant the world to me. We dated for three years, and we really did think we could last forever. I mean, what we had was really special, probably because we grew up together. But a year and a half into it, Jaxon was diagnosed with leukemia, and it... well, it shell-shocked us both. He was seventeen. Seventeen, Tom. And he was slowly dying. They said that it would take a while to kill him, that they could do chemotherapy, and he could go probably go into remission, and he wouldn't even have to die. So, obviously, his parents did it. Anything to keep him alive a little longer, anything to keep him alive at all. And, you know, it worked. I mean, it took its toll, but it worked. Jax went into remission, and we had this reprieve, you know? Suddenly, everything came into focus, and we just felt lucky. He started gaining weight again, stopped sleeping so much, and I guess we just forgot. But he never stopped bruising easily, and we should have taken it as a sign. He was okay for a few months. Then it spiraled again, and we-" 

She paused when her voice cracked, and even though her gaze was drilling a hole in the carpet below her feet, she could feel Tom's eyes burning into her. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw him shift, and his hand laced itself with hers, squeezing it softly. She met his eyes for half a second, swiftly dropping her gaze again when the tears hit.

"It spiraled again," she continued, "and we were told this time, we couldn't do anything. So I had to sit there and watch it happen, watch him lose his life, and you know, it hurt. It hurt me so deep, that when he died, I pretty much swore off love. Who could love me more than Jaxon did? Even though he told me to move on, I've just always felt like... I don't know, like I owe it to him to find someone worth filling his spot in my life? Like, I want to make Jax proud of who I'm with, because the kid was someone just so... unapologetically himself. Loved wholeheartedly, never lied... I want to make him happy. And no one I've met can live up to him, so..." 

The tears came fast now, feeling like there was fire in her veins, but the kind that's so hot, it's cold. She had suppressed the memories of losing Jaxon for so long, that for a solid year, she had called him just to hear his voice in his voicemail. A coping mechanism, said her therapist. A wackjob, said all the people at home. 

Tom wrapped his arms around her, and she shuddered at how warm he was, how inviting, how he didn't even bother to judge her. "Addy, love-" he started, but she doesn't let him finish. She knew if she did, the next story wouldn't come out.

"I lost my twin, Eliza, too. I speak like she's still here, because it's been a year, and it still feels like she is, you know? I lost her on the same day as Jaxon, only a year later, which I find is some kind of twisted irony. Eliza, though, that was a car accident, and she... she got nailed by this car on the way to the set I was filming at, we were going to dinner with Jaxon's mom... it's like losing myself, you know? Eliza was every bit me as I am. But she was selfless, kind. I loved her more than myself. And now I get to mourn two people at once. Because life." she chuckled bitterly, and Tom tightened his grip on her, pressing a kiss to her hairline.

"Addy love," he started, and this time, she let him finish. "You're so incredibly strong, you know that? And, as I've said before, unapologetically human. I absolutely adore you, even more now. But you shouldn't be afraid to love again, okay? I'm sure who you'll fall for will appease Jaxon, and what you're doing will appease Eliza. You will make it through life loved and happy, Adeline. I know it."

He kissed the top of her head, and she smiled, sniffling as she wiped away her tears. Tom was honestly really great, too kind for her to bear, and it wasn't what she expected coming there, but she was thrilled that he turned out alright.

"Tommy, will you stay with me?" Adeline asked softly, not daring to move or raise her voice. He shifted, and she lifted her head to watch him, worry on her face. His face was pensive, but he nodded. 

"Of course. We can watch a movie, eat popcorn?" he offered, and she grinned, all too excited. He really, truly knew how to cheer her up.

"Yeah, yeah, that works." she nodded, and they ended up moving to the other side of the bed. Tom settled with his head against the headboard, and Adeline curled into his side. He called room service while she picked the movie- the Spiderman with Andrew Garfield, partly to annoy Tom and partly because she really did feel like it. It was then that she realized how tired she truly am, and she could feel Tom stroking her hair, and it made her realize how badly she really wanted to nap. But she made her eyes stay open for as long as she could, glad because she got to witness Tom chuckle at her movie choice and quote half of it with her. About then, he looked down at her and whispered, "Hey, Adeline?" 

"Yeah, Tom?" she replied, eyes falling shut as she spoke.

"You feel something here too?"

"Of course I do. But not now."

"I know, love, I do. Take your time, I won't go anywhere."

"You're the best, Spidey," she muttered, smiling up at him. He laughed and kissed her forehead before returning his gaze to the movie, and as she fell asleep, she heard him whisper something inaudible. He was all her dreams were about.