the beautiful and the profound {joshler}

Cingulomania

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(n.) a strong desire to hold a person in your arms.
"i just met him today but i feel like ive known him for a while" - tyler on jon bellion.
tw// panic attack, negative thoughts, arguments
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Tyler couldn't stop gushing about how much he and Jon got along, it was all he would talk about when they got back onto the bus, sitting there practically bouncing like a child on their way to chuck E cheese. Josh knows the hyperness is adrenaline from the success of their first show back but he cant help the ugly twinge of jealousy in his chest as Tyler just wont stop talking about their new support act. Josh completely bipasses giddy excitement and goes straight to pure exhaustion instead and decides to call it a night.

Josh watches them bounce around and throw beats back on forth and he knows he must be hitting his drums harder because once everyone is off stage Tyler gives him a look as if to say "you good" and Josh huffs out a heavy breath and focuses on the amazing crowd and how happy this makes him and he forgets all about this ugly feeling thats started festering inside him.

When Josh visists Tyler's dressing room just as the first support act goes on he doesn't expect to find Jon sat with him playing rocket league. They almost dont even notice Josh is in the room until Tyler has yelled out a loud "YES!" and punched the air to signal he's won. "Oh, hey Josh." he beams and Josh smiles back and points at the cereal bar on the craft table set up for them, Tyler furrows his brow but Josh just takes it and leaves again as he hears Jon suggest one last game before he needs to get ready to perform.

"Josh what is your problem man?" Tyler asks almost exasperated as they walk onto the bus. Josh saw Tyler and Jon laughing about an inside joke and Josh hadnt been able to storm off without Tyler noticing and calling him over which Josh had ignored.

"Nothing." Josh mumbles turning to face Tyler now but refusing to make eye contact.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Tyler puts a hand on his arm and Josh shrugs it off with a heavy sigh.

"Gosh." he says frustrately to the ceiling. When he looks back Tyler's brow is furrowed again and Josh knows he's piecing things together.

"Is this about Jon? Do you not- did something happen between you two or something?"

"No." Josh snapped back.

"Josh." he replied sternly forcing the older man to meet his gaze.

"You know, the world doesnt have to revolve around your new best friend, he's a decent guy i have nothing against him but god forbid im not stuck up his ass like you are." Josh didnt mean to snap, he's tired and its not an excuse to be such an asshole but he cant help how their best buddies attitude gets under his skin.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Tyler lets out an incredilous scoff at Josh's outburst. "God forbid i have friends that aren't you Josh of course i'm gonna hang out with him hes a nice guy I honestly dont understand why you can be such a- such a-"

"A what Tyler? what?!" They're shouting now, aware that anyone could hear especially as they know there are people at the back of the bus.

"A hypocrite." Tyler spits, poking Josh's chest.

"A hypocrite?" Josh is pretty sure that if you looked up flabbergasted his picture would be underneath it right now.