Flip flops in the rain(lams)

GO TO SLEEP

*mentions of self harm and eating disorder*

*PLEASE DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ALEXS WEIGHT*

compare yourself to my weight i'm 160 pounds and 13 years old*

I bet u feel better now*

JOHN POV

Well it looks like i ended up with the annoying french kid again. I don't really think of him that way anymore. I don't think of him like that at all. I wonder what was up with that alex kid he knows. I feel bad about being rude to him, well i guess ill get to see more of him because he is Hercules's dorm mate.

ALEX POV

" alexander hamilton, i swear to god if you don't stop typing soon I will throw your laptop out the window." Herc grumbled from his bed

" ill just start writing with a pen in that case" i said

" then ill just throw you out the window" herc said

" one more paragraph" i whined

" you said that 2 hours ago alex. It's like 2am" herc said

" shit" i mumbled" i still have to finish this"

" nope" herc said

" like you can stop m-" i screamed as herc picked my up and threw me on to my bed then shut the laptop.

" you weigh like 60 pounds" herc laughed

"90" I mumbled

"And your how tall?" Herc laughed

" five foot six" i said standing up walking over to my desk again

" no you don't " herc said standing in my way pushing me back in to my bed. I screamed again.

" goodnight" herc said from his bed

My phone buzzed.

Laf: did herc murder you we heard a scream

A.ham: no he just threw me on to a bed

laf: he's usually so sweet what did you do to him

a.ham: i was typing

Laf: at 2am?

A.ham: yes

Laf: you got issues kid

A.ham: i'm aware

Her was already fast asleep. I walked in to the bathroom. I took the small blade out of my pocket and pulled up my sleeve, one for always messing up, one for being so clumsy, one for being a fag, one for causing my father to leave, one for letting my mother die, another for letting my brother die, one more for not putting out the fire on the ship fast enough, i pulled my sleeve back down and lifted up my shirt and sweatshirt. I placed the blade on my very exposed ribs, one more for being fat ugly and just a general fuck up. I turned o the water and ran it over my am si the blood would not soak in to my sleeve. Then I washed the blade and went to put it back where I hid it. I climbed in to bed and practically passed out in to my pillow.

That night i had the dream again

JOHN POV

I came home and i knew i must have done something wrong.

ALEX POV

I was only about 9 or 10 at the time of this memory or dream

JOHN POV

He was waiting for me at the kitchen table

ALEX POV

To this day i don't know what i had done wrong

JOHN POV

He grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me to the ground

ALEX POV

I was trapped between him and the wall

JOHN POV

I guess he was drunk

ALEX POV

He was always drunk

JOHN POV

He hit me

ALEX POV

Then he kicked me

JOHN POV

With some curses and verbal abuse thrown in there

ALEX POV

This went on for a while

JOHN POV

One time head a knife. I thought he would hurt me, but he just handed it to me and told me to do what i pleased with it.

ALEX POV

One time he had a knife. I thought he would hurt mr, he did. He carved the word fag in to the edge of my ribs. You cant see it as well now.

JOHN POV/ALEX POV

I wonder if anyone else had to deal with something like this.

A/N

Ok so incase you were confused. They are dreaming and describing it in that last part. But their dreams are both of a similar situation with their fathers. The only inference is the knife part. The rest could be from either pov i just really like how that looked.