Free Now (Our Anthem Sequel)

Alone

           I was forced to go home. They said that I could now only stay for visiting hours and that would be best for both Audrey and me. She needs to get used to the home environment, but I can visit every day at 9 am to 11 pm. It would be better for us. I’ll never get used to not having Iris here with me, it’s something I hope never to get used to. But until she’s back, I need to be the best version of myself for Audrey. I can never stop thinking about poor Audrey though, she doesn’t know a thing that’s going on. She doesn’t know all the trouble her mother is having to go through. But there’s faith that Iris will be back home soon. She will get that transplant, I just know it. I hate the fact that until Iris gets better, Audrey is going to have to spend the first week or two of her life in the hospital. It all has to get better from here though.

    Currently, it was 10 in the morning and Audrey and I were sitting on the couch. She was playing with a little stuffed giraffe that we got for her a while ago and I was contemplating whether to go to the hospital now or wait till early afternoon. I decided we should go now.

    I got up off the couch with a small stretch as I went to pick up Audrey. I carefully carried her over to the nursery and sat her down on the changing table. I sighed as I flipped through her clothes. This should be interesting, I can’t even match my on clothes properly and now I have to find an outfit for a little girl. I pulled out a pair of black leggings and crème-ish colored knit sweater my mom made for her.  I dressed her in that and softly combed through her head full of hair. I picked her up and held her in the air, lightly swinging her about as she giggled. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I watched her smile and laugh. As I let a chuckled escape my lips while I held her closely in my arms.

        “Mommy would love to see you right now.” I whispered briskly. Audrey looked up at me with her big green eyes and stared for a bit, then placed her piete hand over my mouth. I lightly laughed and kissed her little hand which made her laugh as well. “Let’s go see mom, yeah?”

     It took about 15 minutes to get to the hospital and up to her room. It was a small hassle trying to get visitor passes for the both of us, but we’re here now. I set up Audrey a make shift playpen using a blanket on the floor and a few toys scattered across it so she could still be entertained. With a small sigh I sat down on the god forsaken chair next to Iris. My eyes stayed glued to her motionless body. She looked so peaceful with her hair flowing around her face, her skin still seemed so radiant and I could only imagine the sparkle in her eyes.

         “Hey Iris.” I started off. I don’t know why I but I wanted to spill everything out, and I was looking at her as if she would reply. Maybe it was the longing of wanting her here with me.

“I miss you. I miss you a lot. I wish you were here with me now, here with me and Audrey. Audrey, you would love her. She is literally the best and cutest little girl ever. She just reminds me so much of you that it almost hurts. You’re on the list for a transplant, and then you can be back to living healthy and be with us. It’s only been a day but it’s weird having the house to myself. I hope that soon you can get your surgery. I don’t think I could do this on my own for too much longer.”

          “That’s really sweet what you told her.” I heard a voice call from the doorway. I quickly looked over only to see the nurse Carlee who looks like she had been standing there awhile.

         “Sorry, I didn’t want to ruin your conversation or anything.” She said with an apologetic expression. I just shook my head and looked at the floor, “It not much of a conversation when the other person can’t reply.”  I noticed her eyes scanning over me as she forked through paperwork, “Chin up Mr. Quinn, she’s going to be better in no time.” 

         “I hope so” I sighed then looked over to Audrey who was having a blast as she pushed her toys everywhere. A smile still managed to find a way to my lips as I reached down to pick her up. She let out a small coo as I cradled her softly. She let out a small yawn as she balled her hands into tiny fists. Slowly, she started to cuddle herself against my chest, trying to find a comfy way to sleep. I let out a soft chuckle at the adorableness of her.

       “If only you could see this Iris, I’m telling you, you’d love her to death.” I gently smiled as I looked back over to her. I cautiously wiggled my arm out from underneath Audrey and reached out towards Iris’ cold deathly pale hand and held it in mine. I closed my eyes and just gave her hand a tight squeeze,

       “I love you honey, I can’t wait to have you back.”

        A few hours pasted and I was just about to fall asleep right as the room door opened. I expected to see either the doctor or Carlee but was stunned to see Jaime and Tony. They all held sorrow filled looks as the gathered around us. Both of them looked to Audrey and smiled,

     “Wow, she’s gorgeous!” Tony said as Audrey looked up at him, stretching a hand out toward him. He smiled and let her grab onto his finger. “She looks just like you, man!” Jaime exclaimed as he looked at her in awe. I watched as Audrey diverted her attention from Tony up to Jaime. You could see the fascination in her eyes as she looked at his tattoos and spiky hair. Suddenly she stretched her arms out towards him and babbled out baby talk to him. Jaime just laughed and reached over to pick her up. The first thing she did was pat her hand over his hair. We all laughed at her infatuation.

       But then the attention was brought to the bigger problem.

    “So how is Iris, besides well… you know?” Tony asked causing the mood to go serious. I filled them in on every last detail and I watched their faces fall. By the end of it Tony had tears in his eyes and Jaime’s jaw was on the floor. Both of them shook their head in shock. “And how are you holding up?” Jaime sputtered out through his worry.

      “I’m not the problem of course I miss her, what type of person would I be if I did? She’s been with me for forever it seems and if I lose her I’d be losing my life. But I can’t think about the grief, I have to focus on the faith. She will make it.”

I got silent stares for a minute but then they pulled me into a tight hug. Once of them whispered, “You’re a good man, Kellin. A good man.”

As we broke away from the hug, a nurse peeked their head through the door, “Gentleman- visiting hours are now over.”

I guess it was time to go back to the now lonely house.

A/N

Hey guys, thank you for reading, sorry if you didn’t like it. I don’t really have much to say this time. If you follow my twitter (BandBones_) I tweet sneak peeks into the update and all that jazz. Tweet me if you do follow me J

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