Save Me // Demi Lovato and Madison DelaGarza

Hiding

CHAPTER 4

Maddie's POV

When I woke up I was curled up into Demi, with her arms tightly around me. She was fast asleep, but as I tried to gently get out of bed, Demi's eyes popped open and when she saw me, she smiled warmly. "Hey baby girl." I smiled, and walked to the bathroom. Demi followed me, "You okay?" She asked. I nodded and gave her a funny look, "Yeah Dems, I'm fine, I just have to pee." She giggled and walked away, calling "What do you want for breakfast?" Over she shoulder. I grimaced and didn't answer. This was going to be harder then I thought.

~*~

I walked downstairs and saw everyone already seated at the table waiting Starbucks had been handed out, and as I sat down, Demi handed me a cup. "White mocha, right?" With a wink... I nodded and smiled, but it dropped as I stared at the cup. I used to like them, until I realized that they were the most fattening thing on the menu. At 500 calories, I'd rather eat then drink one of them. Demi grabbed my hand and I took Dallas'. My dad began to pray. "Dear Lord, thank you for Demi's safe return home. Thank you for the health of our family and for our continuous strength in times of trouble. Bless this food. Bless our bodies, and our bodies to your service. Amen." "Amen." Everyone repeated after him, except for me. I had began to resent God. It started around the time that Demi went to rehab. I read all of the gossip sites about her. And then I look up myself. Throughout all of the comments were terrible things. "Go kill yourself." "Fat slut." "Ew how can she even be related to Queen Demi?" Terrible, yes. Yet true.

"Maddie?" Demi's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw everyone staring at me. "What?" I asked, self consciously. Demi just shook her head and let out an infectious laugh, "You were zoned out." I smiled, "Oh, sorry haha I guess sleep hasn't completely left yet." Demi nodded and the rest of my family looked back down at their food and ate. I looked at my plate. Eggs, bacon, and toast. I took a few bites of the eggs, chewing them slowly and then swallowed, feeling them sink into my empty stomach. Once the eggs were a quarter gone, I picked up a piece of bacon and ripped off a tiny piece. I shoved the toast into my napkin, and looked up guiltily. Fortunately, no one was watching me. I took a sip from the coffee and almost spat it back out. Demi looked at me, "You okay?" I made a disgusted face, "Coffee's gross, they burned it." Demi nodded and turned her attention back to her conversation with Dallas about X Factor. I shoved most of the eggs, along with the bacon into my napkin and got up, throwing out the Starbucks cup and the napkin full of food. I went back to the table, "Can I go to my room?" My mom nodded, and Demi interjected. "Go get ready too! We're going shopping!" I put a smile on my face and nodded, but as soon as I was out of sight, it dropped. Great. Shopping.

I walked into my room, locked the door and turned my music up, walking over to the bathroom I bent over the toilet, and shoved my fingers down my throat, my eyes filled with tears as my measly breakfast came back up. As soon as I was done I got out my razor. My anxiety about shopping was growing and the thoughts began to swirl.

"You've definitely gone up a few sizes. What will Demi think?"

"Ooh what if she she's your scars? She'll hate you forever."

Tears streamed down my face as I agreed with them. I found a part of my wrist that wasn't already full of red lines and dragged the blade across. The chanting voices that we're telling me to cut faded away and I laid there, at peace, with the blood dripping down my arm.

A knock at my door made me snap into action. "Yeah?" I yelled. "Can I come in? I think I left my phone in here from last night." Demi's voice came from the locked door. Shit shit shit shit. I thought as I scrambled around the bathroom, trying to mop I up the blood. "Uhm, I'm kind of naked." I said. I heard Demi laugh, "Okay, I'll come back in a couple minutes, I have to get changed too." I heard her footsteps walk down the hallway and I sighed in relief.

I rubbed Chapstick over the redlined and immediately the bleeding stopped. I quickly changed into jeans, converse, a band-tee, and a black hoodie. I added some makeup to my cuts my make them invisible and then slid bracelets over the fresh ones for extra protection. I swallowed a Zanex for my anxiety, then braced myself, looking in the mirror to do my makeup and my hair. I tried my best not to look below my face, but I couldn't help it. My eyes wandered down to my huge thunder thighs, my kankles, the huge stomach, the not-so-huge boobs, no ass. I sighed and put on some mascara and eyeliner, then put my hair in a simple ponytail. Demi knocked on my door again, "Ready?" I opened the door and handed her the phone, closing my door and locking it in my way out.

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Soo yeah! That's the chapter, I don't really know when I'll be updating again, most definitely by next week, but who knows haha it's whenever I really get inspiration, so it could be tonight, or next Monday!

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-Rachel