MANAN FF - TILL THE END OF TIME

Manik Meets Dr. Dhawan

Manik is an extraordinarily handsome man, fairer than Dr. Dhawan had anticipated, with dark brown hair and wonderful expressive eyes. His charm and easy wit hid the grief he was feeling at the death of his brother, who had died ten months previously in a terrible automobile accident in Mexico City.

The unusual aspect of Manik's story was the ten months that had elapsed since his brother's death. By this time, grief is generally resolving. The long time span of his grief suggested an underlying, even deeper despair.

His sadness actually extended far beyond his brother's death. They would learn in subsequent sessions that Manik had been separated from his loved ones over many lifetimes, and he was acutely sensitized to the loss of a love. The sudden death of his brother reminded him, in the deepest unconscious recesses of his mind, of losses even greater, even more tragic, over millennia.

Dr. Dhawan needed to know about Manik's life. He needed landmarks to navigate the flow of future sessions.

"Tell me about yourself," he asked. "Your childhood, your family, and whatever else you feel is important. Tell me everything you think I should know."

Manik sighed deeply and sank back into the large, soft chair. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. His body language told Dr. Dhawan that this would not be easy for him.

Manik came from a very privileged family, both financially and politically. His father owned a large business and several factories. They lived in the hills above the city, in a spectacular house within a secure, gated community.

Manik had attended the finest private schools in the city. He had studied English since the early grades, and after living in Miami for several years, his English was excellent. He was the youngest of three children. His sister was the oldest child, and even though she was four years older than he, Manik was extremely protective of her. His brother was two years older and very close to Manik.

Manik's father worked very hard and usually didn't come home until late at night. His mother and the nannies, maids, and other staff ran the house and cared for the children.

Manik studied business in college. He had several girlfriends, but no serious relationship.

"Somehow my mother was never very fond of the girls I dated," Manik added. "She always found some particular fault and never let me forget."

At this point, Manik looked around uncomfortably.

"What is it?" Dr. Dhawan inquired.

He didn't respond immediately, swallowing several times before beginning.

"I had an affair with an older woman during my last year at the university," he slowly told him. "She was older . . . and married." Manik paused.

"Okay," Dr. Dhawan responded after a few moments, mostly to fill the silence. He could feel his discomfort, and despite many years of experience, he still didn't like the feeling. "Did her husband find out?"

"No," he answered, "he didn't."

"Things could have been worse," Dr. Dhawan pointed out, stating the obvious, trying to comfort him.

"There is more," he added ominously.

Dr. Dhawan nodded, waiting for Manik to fill him in.

"She became pregnant. . . . There was an abortion. My parents don't know about this." His eyes were cast downward. He was still ashamed and feeling guilty, years after the affair and the abortion.