MANAN FF - TILL THE END OF TIME

NANDINI RECALLS A PAST LIFE IN CHINA

Nandini was frustrated and despondent. Her new relationship had lasted for only two dates. Aryaman was avoiding her. She had known him casually for more than a year, through work. He was successful and handsome and shared many of her interests. He told her that his long-term affair with a married woman had just ended. Aryaman had had several short-term relationships with other women, but there always seemed to be something lacking in these women. According to him, they would turn out to be superficial or unintelligent or not share his values, and he would end the relationships. His married lover would always accept him back. Her husband was rich, but their relationship lacked passion. She would not leave her husband and their affluent life.

"You're different from the others," Aryaman swore to Nandini. "We have so much more in common." He told Nandini that she was more intelligent than any of the others, more beautiful, that he knew their relationship could last.

Nandini convinced herself that Aryaman was right. "He was there all the time, and I never really noticed," she thought. "Sometimes the answer is right in front of your eyes and you never see it."

She forgot that the reason she never really noticed Aryaman and his good looks was that she never felt a chemistry with him. She was lonely and desperate for a man's arms. She listened to her head and ignored her heart's warning.

Their first date was very promising. They went out for a casual dinner, a good movie, and intimate conversation while watching the wind-whipped waves on the beach under the cool light of a nearly full moon. "I could fall in love with you," he told her, teasing her with a promise that would never be fulfilled. Her head carefully heard every word, ignoring the lack of response from her heart.

The second date seemed fine. She had a good time, and she sensed that he did, too. His affection seemed genuine, and he hinted at sex in the future. But he never called back.

Finally she called him. He said that he wanted to see her again but that he was very busy, and it was difficult to pick an exact time. He assured her he had not had a change of heart. He did want to see her; he just couldn't tell her when.

"Why do I always pick losers?" she asked Dr. Dhawan. "What's wrong with me?"

"You don't pick losers," he told her. "Here's a handsome and successful man who told you he was interested and available. Don't blame yourself."

Dr. Dhawan didn't say so, but inwardly, he knew she was right. She was picking losers, in this case an emotional loser. It turned out he could not leave the safety of his married lover. He chose to remain dependent and "safe." Nandini became the victim of his fear and his lack of courage. Better now than later, thought Dr. Dhawan. Nandini was strong; she would recover.

Nandini asked if they still had time to attempt a regression. She could sense something important was near the surface, and she was anxious to find it, so we proceeded.

After she emerged in an ancient past life, Dr. Dhawan was not sure if they had made the right decision.

She saw a land of broad, rolling plains and flat-topped hills. A land of yak like animals and small agile horses, of large rounded tents and nomadic wanderers. It was a land of passion, and it was a land of violence.

Her husband was away with most of the other men, hunting or raiding. The enemy struck, flying in on waves of horses against the depleted defenders. Her husband's parents were killed first, hacked down by broad, razor-sharp swords. Her baby was killed next, gutted by a spear. A shudder convulsed her spirit. She wanted to die, too, but such was not her destiny. Captured by the young warriors because of her beauty, she became the property of the strongest of the invading horde. A few other young women were also spared.