Healing Love (A Bensler fanfic)

Elliot's Return

In New York City, the Special Victim's Unit hadn't been the same, for Olivia Benson had been on leave for a month. After being held captive and tortured William Lewis, known as "The Beast," she had taken time off of work to focus on healing, both physically and mentally, the latter being the most damaged part of her. Olivia had started therapy with Dr. Peter Lindstrom, to tell of her story instead of keeping it bottled inside, and to learn how to cope with the PTSD the three days with William had caused her. 

It was Olivia's first day back at work, and she walked into the squad room, her fellow detectives and coworkers greeting her with warm smiles and hugs. 

"It's great to have you back, Liv," Nick Amaro, Olivia's partner, told her with a smile. 

"It's good to be back," she replied and sat down at her desk across from him. Captain Cragen walked in and welcomed Olivia back.

"How are you feeling?" Amanda Rollins asked.

"Much better, thank you," answered Olivia and she started working on files. She was on desk duty until she felt 100% ready to get back into her normal routine which consisted of catching perps and talking with victims, etc. She just wasn't ready to see the greusome crime scenes or talk to rape victims yet. After all, she had almost become one herself... 

Although they had broken up before the whole William Lewis incedent, Olivia had been staying with Brian Cassidy for the past month, but now she was living alone in her apartment again, and she was a bit timid, to be honest. That night Olivia had a nightmare that William had been burning her with cigarettes just like he had when she was his prisoner. She woke up in a sweat, feeling as though her skin was searing with pain as if she really had been burned. Every night since she was free of the beast she had dreamed of him, though not all of them were as horrible as tonight's. 

The next day at the precinct, Olivia was working on some paperwork when the squad room suddenly became quiet. Olivia looked up to see what had caused the abrupt silence. Thinking she was just seeing things, Olivia closed her eyes but when she opened them again, she realized she had not been mistaken. Standing in the room was Elliot Stabler, Olivia's old partner, her best friend, her secret love.

"Liv? Are you alright?" Nick asked in a concerned voice and then turned his head and noticed Elliot as well. 

"Olivia," was all Elliot said.

"Elliot," Olivia whispered and she stood up. "What are you doing here?" she asked, feeling several things at once. She was angry, she was confused, but there was an emptiness that had been filled in just the few seconds of seeing him.

"I heard what happened and I wanted to come see you, to check on you," he replied reaching out to touch her arm. 

"Don't touch me," Olivia snapped taking a step back. Cragen stepped out of his office and into the room.

"What is going on in... Elliot?" he said, surprise evident in his voice.

"Captain, hi."

"What are you doing here?" Don asked.

"My question exactly," Olivia said and stormed out of the room.

"You need to leave," Nick said getting up from his seat. 

"You must be Liv's partner," Elliot smirked, his voice laced with hatred. 

"You bet I am and I'm not going to leave her without an explanation."

"Hey, don't you dare..."

"Enough!" Cragen shouted. "Elliot, in my office," he commanded, as though Elliot was still working for him, for that was a phrase he had used commonly back in the day. Cragen shut the door and turned towards him. "Explain."

"Look, I heard what happened to Olivia and I wanted to see her, to make sure she was okay. I'm sorry it was so unexpected."

"You should've called. You hurt her, bad," Cragen said.

"I'm sorry. I need to talk to her," Elliot said and walked out of Cragen's office, leaving the Captain thinking of his already fragile detective and worring Elliot might cause more damage.

Elliot found Olivia in the break room sitting at the table with her head in her hands. He knocked on the open door to get her attention. Olivia looked up and quickly wiped her eyes. "Can I talk to you?" Elliot asked, slowly walking in.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. "You choose now to talk to me? Why not before you left? You left me without an explanation, not even a simple goodbye! What the hell, Elliot? Do you know how much pain you put me through?" Olivia asked, her voice increasing in volume with every question. Elliot looked away. 

"I'm sorry, Liv. I'm not sure why I didn't say goodbye. I had so many mixed emotions. I was devestated after shooting Jenna. I couldn't do the job anymore and so I just left. You deserved an explanation and a goodbye. Please forgive me," Elliot pleaded, on the verge of crying himself. 

"Do you know how overwhelming this is? I haven't seen you in three years and now you're back apologizing. How come there had to be a catastrophic event before you came back? Why not come back sooner?"

"How many times can I say that I'm sorry?!" Elliot shouted at her.

"They're just words, Elliot! It doesn't make what you did okay and it doesn't take the painaway! Please just leave."

"Fine." Elliot started for the door but turned around. "Will I be able to talk to you or see you again?" he asked in a softer voice. Olivia was looking at the ground, her arms folded. 

"I don't know," she muttered and with that Elliot left Olivia to be.

Lying in bed that night Olivia thought of Elliot. Well, really he had been on her mind ever since he had left the precinct that day, but now she had nothing to distract her thoughts. She had to admit that seeing him filled a void inside of her, and part of her wished she had treated him better. Olivia worried she had let the rekindling of a lost friendship slip away. Olivia shook her head. No, they hadn't been friends for the past three years and she was certain she could continue on with it being that way. But she had missed him something awful and she wanted to see him again.