It's finally quiet in the house now, my head lay against the plush white pillow as I tried to drown out the noise of Niall and Hayley arguing. The voices in my head made everything worse by blaming and torturing me for infuriating another couples relationship.
Hayley managed to calm Niall down; though, he isn't very happy that I'm here if you hadn't already noticed. Harry tells the lads everything so it's no surprise that they have all heard about what has happened, and how much of a disgrace I am. I don't even want to speak let alone try to defend myself, there's no point. No-one will listen.
I've lost the lads as friends now, but then again, they're entitled to dismiss me since they've known Harry longer and they're basically family, like Hayles and I are. I can tell that Hayley is torn between me and Niall, I know she wants to be there for me, but I know how much she loves Niall; I'm an awful friend by putting her in this position, but I really didn't have anyone else to turn to.
I remember their constant arguing downstairs as my tears fell silently onto the pillow. You're probably wondering why I didn't just ignore them and go to sleep; well, it's like when you try to ignore a conversation but the minute you hear your name being spoken, you are automatically on edge and have to listen to what they're saying. That's what it was like.
Except my name was spoken bitterly.
*flashback*
I sit on the bed with my legs crossed, the room black as I stare out endlessly into the pitch darkness. The house resounds no movement or voices whatsoever, the entire place shut from all noise, I begin to assume Niall and Hayley have gone to bed until I hear a familiar Irish accent; a little firmer and harsher than normal.
"I hate her being here Hayley! I can't stand the sight of her after what's she's done to Harry." I overhear, Niall's feel scuffing the floorboards of the hallway as they enter the tiled kitchen I presume.
"Niall I understand that you're upset but I-" Hayley begins before she is interrupted by her boyfriend.
"I'm not upset Hayles, I'm angry, infuriated. How could she do this?! They've been married for two years, does that mean nothing to her?!" He raises his voice.
"Niall calm down, I understand you're annoyed okay? But this isn't our business and I can't just leave her." Hayley argues, her voice soft as she try's to calm Niall down.
He hiss' and groans slightly at her words. "Why? Why can't she just go to Cheshire or something? I don't want her here."
"She was drenched when I opened the door, she clearly walked here Niall, she doesn't have her car and I don't think her parents are going to want to see her in this state." Hayley defends my honour, thinking the exact reason of my choosing to be here.
"Why are you so accepting of her? Aren't you annoyed, do you even care what she did to Harry?" He accuses her, his voice raised as before, and straining as he finishes his sentences. I can hear how pained and offended he is just by the sound of his voice.
"Of course I care! Why are you acting so rashly Niall?" A small shriek coming from her mouth as she exclaims her words.
"Because he's my best mate Hayles," he explains softly, "I've been with him for six and a half years. I hate to see him like this, and to know the cause is in my house-" I feel a sharp pain through my heart at the way he speaks of me, this is how much he hates me and this is what I truly deserve.
"Hey!" Hayles cuts him off abruptly, her tone offended and firm. "I understand that Harry is your best friend and I respect that, but what you fail to realise Niall, is that I have known Emma for the last twenty-three years; she was there when I was born. We're closer than sisters and I will do anything for her." She speaks softly, a hitch in her voice as Niall stay quiet.
She takes this as a sign to continue, "now, I know that you're angry and hurt to see Harry upset, but it pains me to see Emma like that too."
"But I" Niall attempts to start but before he can, Hayley is quick to answer back.
"Would you do it to me?" Her soft voice asks in pain, her chocolate brown eyes presumably brimming with warm tears as she waits for his response.
"What?" I can picture is face contorting at the question she poses. My heart clenching as I remember that they're fighting because of me.
"Would you leave me out to wander the streets in the rain, not knowing what lurks in the darkness of the night?" She quiz's, the whole conversation becoming even more personal as Niall attempts to sympathise with me against his will.
"No." He murmurs simply. He would never do that to Hayley, he would just wander into a different room and end up finding her later on so he can cuddle her.
"Exactly, so why would you do it to her?" She replies, putting him on the spot, although his answer will be fairly obvious.
"Because of what she's done to Harry-" he begins.
"And you only know his side of the story Niall, and until I hear Emma's side I refuse to judge her. We don't know anything for sure." She shouldn't be defending me, this is all my fault.
"Harry's still my friend and I refuse to betray him, he's had enough of that." He spits in disgust, thinking over what I've done to his band mate. I don't blame him, I deserve it.
"I'm not asking you to be her friend Niall, or even look at her, or talk to her. But she is staying here whether you like it or not." Hayley states firmly in opposition.
"What if I don't want her here?" He argues, testing Hayley's patience until she utters the words I hoped never to hear between the two.
"Then I'll leave too." She answers hesitantly but with a hint of courage and determination.
After a moment of silence as Niall reenact's the worst possible thing that could happen to him, he breaks from his trance and replies softly with caution, "She can stay. But I don't want to see her."
"That's fine."
"I love you, please don't say anything like that again." He refers to her threat to leave.
"I love you too." She answers, their argument having drawn to a close and silence once again filling the house.
*end of flashback*
And now here I am, Harry's and Niall's taunting voices repeating in my ears. My eyes staring out into the blinding darkness as I wait for sleep to engulf me. But it never does. Because I refuse to sleep.
I can't sleep.
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- Pianogirl56
