That Summer

19. All the Right Moves

19. All The Right Moves

Max stares at me as he moves his hand down my body to my hip. My breath catches as he pushes my shirt up and presses his lips to my stomach. He slowly unbuttons my shorts and pulls them down my leg, kissing my thigh as he makes his way down. I thread my fingers through his hair and pray that I don’t start hyperventilating or something.

When he puts his fingers underneath my shirt to pull it up, he pauses.

“Nell?”

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

“Nell, hey, it’s okay. I’ll stop.” He pulls my shirt back down and presses his lips to my forehead. He wraps his arm around my waist and lays down beside me.

When I glance over at him, Ben’s face flashes across my mind and that’s when I start hyperventilating.

“Hey,” he murmurs, sitting back up. “Hey, baby, you’re okay. It’s just me.” He runs his fingers through my hair and rests his forehead against mine. “It’s me.”

I try to slow my breathing, and eventually I succeed. He sits up and puts my shorts back on. He doesn’t ask what came over me, which surprises me. Normally he’d be all over this one.

He lays back down beside me and pulls me against him. He kisses my cheek and lets me lay there, trying to figure out what happened.

Ben and I never had sex. Like I said, I’m a virgin. My virginity is one hundred percent intact. Why his face flashed across my mind is beyond me. We didn’t have a bad relationship. He never abused me. And I know for sure that I don’t have any feelings left for him.

Then I remember. Ben had been kissing my stomach after I told him I was ready for sex when I freaked out and told him to stop. I knew he wasn’t the one that I wanted to lose my virginity to.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, staring at the ceiling fan.

“Don’t say you’re sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Max murmurs. He sits up and looks at me. I finally meet his gaze.

“I just…I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. I really am sorry.”

“Nell, I’m serious. Don’t say you’re sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for, I promise.”

He gives me a small smile and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. He moans and digs his fingers into my waist.

After a few moments, he pulls away and goes back to laying beside me. “I don’t want to pressure you into this, Nell.”

I glance over at him. “You’re not pressuring me into anything.”

He runs his hand over his face. “I just really don’t want to screw this up with you.” He looks towards me. “I’m not ready yet. I want it to be perfect and it’s not going to be perfect in this beach house where Gage or Anna or Sebastian could walk in at any second.”

I sit up and kiss him gently. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“I’m serious. I only want the best for you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and gives me a small smile.

I glance over at the clock. It’s past midnight now. “Are you ready to go to bed?” I ask.

He nods. “Let me go change.” He stands up and goes to the bathroom. I wait for him to get out and check my phone. There’s a text from Maggie that reads, Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! Xoxo