"Thank you, that was very nice, I think we just need to hear you sing 'Goodbye Little Dream' one more time."
"Of course." I reply, gathering as much synthesized confidence as I can into every move I make.
The pianist begins to play and I tryto conceal my shaking hands.
"I first knew love's delight when, presto, out of the blue, a dream appeared one night and whispered, how do you do? I knew I was tempting fate when it landed straight for my heart. That dream is gone and now we must part." I finish the rest of the song to the best of my ability.
"Thank you very much, Elizabeth, I think that's all we need." I smile shyly out of gratitude. I know what that means, it means 'you weren't good enough and you're not getting your chance on Broadway.' I am way too familiar with that look.
"Thank you." I turn to walk out of the anxious, stuffy audition room. Then, I do something I've never done before. I turn around and walk back. "I'm sorry, but I just have to know, what did I do wrong?" I say to the four, judgemental casting directors, glaring at me from behind their table. As badly as I want to ring their necks, they have the power to determine my future.
"Honey, you have a lovely voice, it's just...I don't think that you possess the confidence for a role like Hope."
"Right, thank you." I mask my utterly crushed soul and fight the tears pricking behind my eyes. The confidnet ones always get the roles. I can act confident though, I really can do any role, it's called 'acting' for a reason, people just can't see what I can do.
I used to be confident, but all of that has been quieted, suppressed. It's just to risky for my to put myself out there, too many things could go wrong.
"Oh, Elizabeth -"
"Yes" I turn around, a little bit too eagerly.
"On your way out, could you send in Laura?"
"Absolutely." My bitterness is clear in my tone.
I push through the door into the hallway filled with four other girls, all hoping they will score this role.
"Laura, thay want to see you again." A beautiful girl with brown hair, Laura I presume, smiles at me and strides back into the audition room.
"Fuck you" I murmur to myself. I shouldn't feel this way, but she is getting everything that I want.
The New York air smacks me in the face and I pull my coat over my freezing shoulders. Walking down 44th street is incredibly depressing. Passing all of these theaters reminding me that I am yet to accomplish my dream. I knew I should have studied biochemistry in college, I was always good at it, but of course, I decided to 'follow my heart' and do musical theatre. Brilliant decision.
However, despite how depressing this is, there is always something so magical about walking down the Great White Way. Just the mere though of Broadway sends chills down my spine. Nothing else in the world can make me feel that way.
I pass Shubert Alley and walk into Junior's to get some take-out. Literally, all I want to do right now is stuff my face with food, cry, and sleep. I grab my order and my tea and make my way back to my crappy apartment. I'm not exactly living the life of a star.
I pass the doorman at the front desk and head up the stairs to my room. My phone rings in my posket and I try to answer it while balancing my food, tea, and purse. Someone else comes walking down the stiars and walks directly into me. My hot tea spills down the front of my dress.
"Aahh, watch where you're going!" I groan.
"Sorry" he says rudely and starts walking back down the stairs.
"You just spilled hot tea all over me and all of my food spilled over the floor and you just keep walking?" New York is famous for bad attitudes, but that's just hateful.
He turns to face me and I first take in his face. His hair is a dark, shaggy mess and he has a ring in his eyebrow and another piercing in his lip. And his eyes, damn it, they're a sharp, dark, yet piercing blue.
"I said sorry, what more do you want?" I can hear the slight brittish accent behind his voice. You can meet just about anyone in New York.
"You could help me pick up my stuff." He groans and walks back over to me.
"You shouldn't carry around so much shit." he grabs my bag from Junior's and practically throws it at me.
"I'm sorry...I wasn't planning on a traffic jam on the stairs."
"Clearly." he mumbles, and walks out of the building. I proceed up to too my room so that I can eat and cry in peace.
