Slowtown

13

He repeats my question to her, but then turns around and leaves. Like, right out the door, and I watch him go down the street into another house. Wait, does he live there? That's close!

Oh shit, she's been talking and I wasn't paying attention.

" –Dysphoric mania so severe, they feel like nothing is real, that not even they are real. And in those conditions, to see a person approach you and touch you and talk to you trying to tell you that you're safe, it's a disturbing rip in the facade of unreality. And this can trigger a manic episode into becoming a manic disorder, and- it's all very severe. Bodily wounds heal, Tyler, but psychological damage is something that can rarely be fixed. We need to step back, even if they get hurt along the way, let them go into their house and sleep."

Well, I got the gist of it.

I glance at the table with all the junk food I carelessly dumped on it. But as I move to begin putting it away, she suddenly grabs my arm and looks so deeply into my face, I feel her carve an abyss into it with her very eyes. "It's horrific, Tyler. You've never seen anything more wrenching than the decent into complete madness." She leans back. "But sometimes I think, being here, aren't we living it?"

Up close, she sure looks young, but talking about things that cause her this fear and distress, she sure looks old.

"So what about you?" I pause so she'll look at me. "Who told you about... everything when you got here?" My eyes widen with a thought that I'm sure is true, "Were you the first one here?"

"No."

Dang it.

"There was just one other man," she continues, "and he told me that he had only been here for a day. I get the feeling he was crazy, he was yelling and saying how he had a heart attack but woke up in his own bed. And no one was there, he ran through every street, but it was a ghost town. And he kept saying that his daughter, his daughter." She looks up, out the window. "And he left. He's the only person who has left. I saw him walk straight into the forest and never saw him again. And then I was alone. I never left my house, facing several days without food. Until Josh came. He had been knocking on every door, trying to find someone. I felt so bad for him, he was the youngest person here, besides myself. Rather quickly, he remembered what happened to himself, and together we talked and thought and realized that something had happened to us all, that could be the only explanation...." She stares a hole into the floor, and I hope she doesn't bore into everything in this house. " ...But what does it amount to?"

Well shit, I don't know what life itself amounts to. Better ask a trivial question to distract myself from the existential crisis I feel looming over my shoulder. "So, there's not much to do here, is there? And there aren't many people. Does Josh have any other friends?"

"Oh yes. About, ah," she waves her hand around, "three years ago, a girl showed up. Best friends, those two. And now he's got you."

"Yeah," I exhale.

I stand up, and this time she lets me. This is maybe the first time I've thought of a chore as an escape.

Also, I see now why Josh wanted me to get food: there's absolutely nothing in the kitchen. Not a scrap, not even a crumb.

She's turned away from me. I wonder what else she has to say. What was she studying before she came here? Probably psychology, or something along those lines... yeah, that's why she knows so much.

I open the fridge to put the juice and my grand total of nine Red Bulls in there.

But wait.