TAYLOR'S POV
"Honey." I said, shaking Caroline awake.
A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead as she sharply inhaled and her eyes bolted open. Her breathing was unsteady and she wiped at her eyes to hide the tears.
It was Sunday afternoon and she had fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. When I saw her thrashing around in the middle of a nightmare, I intervened.
It had been a long time since this had happened, which was good. Now it seemed strange that it was happening again.
"Are you okay?" I asked, sitting down beside her on the couch. She nodded and sat up in her spot. Still, I pulled her into me and spread part of her blanket over my legs. She seemed so much older now than she was when this was a everyday occurrence. I sat there with her as she calmed down and I was thinking about how familiar this felt.
When she started to get up I instinctively held her close to me.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Upstairs?" She said. I was a little surprised that she was fully recovered already. Three years ago she would have been crying for at least 10 more minutes.
"Okay." I said, reluctantly letting her go.
This was a small thing, but Caroline was growing up. I could tell. She's been doing it right under my nose for years now. And now that it was her last year living at home, I didn't know how to make it stop.
I watched her walk up the stairs with a confidence that was fairly new. She disappeared into her room right as a tear rolled down my cheek. She was my baby. I meet her when she was 14 but she was my baby. And now she's a high school senior. I wiped at my cheeks, knowing that this was the first of many tears to come this year.
CAROLINE'S POV
On Sunday evening I walked down to the kitchen carrying my laptop. The University of Tennessee website was up on my screen.
I sat down at the counter where Taylor was making supper.
"What are you doing October 8th?" I asked, focused on the computer screen.
"Uhhh, I think I'm going to be in New York with Karlie." Taylor replied. I sighed and kept scrolling through the website.
"What about October 1st?" I asked.
"Probably nothing, why?" Taylor asked.
"I'm scheduling a college visit at the University of Tennessee." I said plainly.
"So October 1s-" I started.
"What?" Taylor said interrupting me.
"What?" I repeated.
"You're scheduling a college visit?" Taylor asked, looking up from the food.
"Yes? Everybody else started going on visits last spring." I said. She stood there for a minute looking at me.
"Anyway, what are you doing October 15th?" I asked, getting on a new website.
"I thought you said October 1st?" She said, looking at me like I was plotting against her.
"October 1st we're going to Knoxville to visit the University of Tennessee and October 15th I want to visit Vanderbilt." I explained.
"Okay. I guess I can do that." She said, hesitating before going back to her cooking.
"You're being weird." I laughed.
"No I'm not." She insisted, but eventually started laughing with me.
"Okay, it's a date." I said, confirming my visits with a few last clicks.
"Okay, you college girl." Taylor said
"Don't call me that." I said, looking in Taylor's direction with disgust.
"You don't like that?" Taylor fired back, amused.
"Absolutely not." I said, shutting the lid to my laptop and heading towards my room.
"Well good because I'm not letting you leave me next year." Taylor called after me.
"Yeah whatever, shouldn't you be on the phone with your lover Taylor?" I said, turning on the staircase to look at her. That remark made her head whip around and check the clock to see if it was time for her to call Karlie. When she realized I was kidding her face got beet red.
"Shouldn't you be, like, uh, doing homework or something?" Taylor said, struggling to find a comeback. She was still flustered.
"Now you're just embarrassing yourself." I laughed, watching her face get more red.
"Love ya Taylor." I laughed continuing in my way up to my room.
That night it all kind of hit me. I'd just scheduled a college visit. A year from now I'll be at college. I'll move out. Taylor will drop me off, say goodbye, and drive away. It was big, and I didn't know if I was ready.
I tried to push thoughts of the future as far back into my mind as I could. It was still a year away. But at the same time it was only a year away. I'd only been with Taylor for three years and now I had to leave? I hadn't had a mom for 10 years and when I finally did have one I only got four years with her? That didn't seem fair. Growing up didn't seem fair, after all I'm still a kid.
Hypothetically, I was able to live on my own. I knew how to cook and do laundry and take care of myself. But in reality, the mere thought of The leaving home was frightening.
I told myself that I had plenty of time left at home. I tricked myself into thinking a year was a long time because if I didn't I wouldn't sleep well. But the joke was on me because I still didn't sleep well. Growing up was daunting, for Taylor and for me.
