CAROLINE'S POV
"Karlie, it's Caroline. Something happened." I said into the phone with my voice cracking at the end.
"Caroline? What's going on?" Karlie said with fear laced in her voice.
"I don't know, Taylor is having an anxiety attack or something. We were finishing our college visit when it started and we're home now but I don't know what to do. I don't really know why it's happening either. Something about college or something else, I don't know." I rambled on frantically with a lump in my throat.
"Okay, okay, calm down." Karlie said quickly. "What is she doing now?"
"She's in her room. She's better than before and I've been sitting with her but she's still not okay. I don't know what to do." I said.
"Can I talk to her?" Karlie asked.
"Yeah." I said, walking the phone to Taylor's room.
"Taylor," I said softly as I entered through the doorway. "Karlie's on the phone."
Taylor's eyes shot up towards me and I could immediately see her face go red. I could tell she was doing much better now. She had her breathing under control and she wasn't shaking anymore, she was just a little upset.
"Caroline you didn't have to call Karlie." Taylor said in a small voice that somehow matched her red face.
"Will you just talk to her?" I said handing her the phone. Taylor reluctantly grabbed her phone out of my hand and wiped her face with her hand before answering as if somehow Karlie could see the remains of her tears.
"Hello?" I heard Taylor say into the phone as I retreated from the room to let them talk. I took a deep breath as Taylor's bedroom door clicked behind me. I slid down onto the floor, staying close so I could eavesdrop on their conversation. I convinced myself that I was listening in for Taylor's good. Luckily, Karlie's voice projected enough that I could faintly make out what she was saying through the phone.
TAYLOR'S POV
"Babe, what's wrong? You're scaring me." Karlie's soft voice said. I didn't want to think about what was wrong. All I wanted to think about was the fact that I could spend the rest of my life listening to Karlie's voice. All I wanted to think about was how bad I wished she were here to hold me and fall asleep next to me. I thought about how nice that would be when Karlie asked if I was still there, bringing me back to reality.
"I'm okay Kar. I really am." I said immediately, knowing it was a lie.
"Well you don't sound okay." Karlie said, seeing right through me.
"What happened?" She added more softly, inviting me to explain everything to her. I took a deep breath and organized all the days events in my head.
"Well, Caroline and I were at Vanderbilt and you know how I get thinking about her going to college." I said in a shaky voice because even now I didn't like to think about it.
"She just seems so young to me. She's been through too much and she's only 17. She's lost both her parents and then she had to move in with me when we didn't even know each other. And college is a shark tank, Kar. At these visits they make it seem like college is the best time of your life but I just know it's a shark tank. And I worry about Caroline, I just want her to be okay for once." I rambled on, nervously messing with the comforter that covered my legs.
"A shark tank?" Karlie giggled, lightening the mood a little. "Taylor you've never been to college, you don't know that it's like that. For all we know college could be some of the best years of Caroline's life." Karlie said, trying to comfort me.
"Well I don't know. I have myself convinced that it's a shark tank." I said.
"Anyway, so I was already all nervous and stressed out about the college thing. I never understood the term 'worried sick' until I had a kid. Caroline was literally standing next to me the entire visit but I worried myself sick about her." I went on.
"So I had a little anxiety the whole visit, but nothing major. It wasn't even noticeable until after we ate lunch." I explained.
"What happened at lunch?" Karlie said in soft voice that made me not want to go on but let her speak instead. With reluctance I continued to the part I was dreading telling Karlie.
"We were eating in the dining hall and I get on my phone to try and calm my nerves and I came across an article that said-" Then my voice cracked. I felt my nose burn, my bottom lip quiver, and my eyes start to well up with tears.
"It's okay babe." Karlie said quietly from the other end, urging me to go on. I didn't want to tell her this whole story. I just wished so bad that she were here right now to be with me. I took a shaky breath and willed myself to continue.
"It was an article about us. And there were a lot of pictures of us and most of it was nice stuff. It was just talking about our 'friendship'." I said while quietly crying yet again.
"And then I started reading the comments." I cried. I didn't want to cry. I wasn't supposed to be crying right now. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't help it.
"Oh Tay." Karlie said with a hint of sadness or maybe even pity in her voice.
"And one said something along the lines of, 'these two are definitely lesbians for each other'. And I know it shouldn't bother me but it scares me so much. What if people know?" I said between breaths.
"They don't know. That was just some sleazy guy from the internet making up shit about us." Karlie said. I know she was trying to make me feel better but I thought I could detect anger and fear in her voice also.
"But that's just it. He wasn't making things up because he was right. He knew." I said, my voice going down to a whisper at the end.
"It was just a lucky guess." Karlie said jokingly, again trying to cheer me up.
"Karlie?" I said quietly, involuntarily shrinking into myself.
"Yeah?" She said, her voice serious this time.
"What if we get outed?" I said in a shaky voice so quiet I wasn't sure if she would be able to hear me.
"We won't get outed Taylor." Karlie said with complete confidence.
"We've been so smart about this. You've been so smart about this. We are so careful and it won't happen, I promise you." She said. I sat there taking in her words. There was a calm silence between the two of us. Karlie had a way of saying things and making you believe them. I was still scared, but I believed her. Being outed was a deep rooted fear, but if Karlie said it wouldn't happen then it wouldn't happen.
"But yeah," I said after a while. "When I saw that it just put me over the edge. That on top of the college thing just set me into a spiral of anxiety. And I feel really bad, I think I scared Caroline which worries me even more than I already am."
"Caroline will be fine babe. You just worry about you." She said in a gentle, reassuring voice. We sat in silence again, just listening to the sounds of each other breathing and each other's environment.
"I love you, Taylor." Karlie said after a few minutes. In that moment the remainder of my anxiety seemed to wash away. Everything would be okay. Caroline would be okay at college. Karlie and I's relationship would be okay. It was all finally okay.
That night, even after reassuring her that everything was okay, Caroline insisted on sleeping next to me in my bed. She acted like she was doing it to make sure I would be alright. But I could see that it was partially to make sure she would be alright after today's events. And that was okay too.
