The Purple Velvet Secret Society

-- Part 11 --

Someone already saw you. Remember that weird feeling? You're being watched. Might as well. My emotional side kicks in full force and, like the past couple of days, drowns out all rationality. Is this a good thing, to act on one's emotions too much? To ignore all rationality? My mind leaves the questions hanging and I start to climb, finding perilous footholds in the window sills. Determination gives me strength to heave myself up, slide open the window, and tumble inside. A rush of fear seizes me and I quickly lock the window and draw the shades.

"Congratulations." I turn towards the voice and in the dim light from the window, I see Professor O'Henry sitting in a large armchair amid a clutter of other furniture. Wow. This is a lot like our first meeting. Except Liam isn't here. Thankfully, I've learned to keep the words unspoken, but the pessimistic thought gnaws at me until I muster the courage to shoo it away.

"You've done well. Very well." Professor O'Henry speaks in a slow, thoughtful voice. At his words I feel a dim glow of pride, although I'm bracing myself for the inevitable but.

"But," he continues, and I feel a strange mix of disappointment and courage, "there are some things you could've done better. Would you like to know what they are?"

A choice? This is odd and very much unlike the scolding I'd expected. "Um... sure."

Immediately he launches into a rapid fire of what I'd done wrong in that little escapade. The biggest problem, and the only one I am able to remember afterwards, is my fear. "You shouldn't have glanced around that often, especially in plain sight. That shows that you're nervous about getting caught, and it'll make others more suspicious."

The scolding is done within a few minutes, and I heave a sigh of relief. "What would've happened... um... if.." I'm not sure how to phrase the question because I'm pretty sure I know what he'll say.

"You would've been caught and possibly apprehended, depending on whoever caught you." His words confirm my suspicions -- this was sort of my initiation rite. If I'd failed, I would've been abandoned by Blue River. By putting me in that situation, Professor O'Henry had made getting rid of me a reality. A rather saddening thought, I tell myself.

But, well, I passed. I'm in. Right?

I glance at Professor O'Henry who seems to have been following my thought process -- maybe I've underestimated this man. "You're one of us now," he assures me. "From now on, you're under our protection." I don't miss the somewhat grudging way he says this, although it is definitely a lot more masked than before. If Liam was here, would it be different?

The rest of the meeting basically goes over the various policies of Blue River, and what is required/expected of me as a member. I'm given a blue card with the pledge and his signature on it: a sign of my allegiance to Blue River.

"We can no longer meet as obviously as we did earlier at school," he says towards the end. "In the future, Liam will send you a note -- a blue one this time -- and that will be the signal for another meeting. Otherwise, you know you shouldn't go out of your way to talk to him."

I nod silently, trying to mask my slight fear that he might've guessed my feelings. His words are part of the standard Blue River policy that he's just lectured me on, yet the tone of his voice is similar to the one he used yesterday trying to dissuade Liam from talking to me.

And that makes a thought, irritating and relentless as an alarm clock, come to me: Could it be that there's a reason Liam didn't come to this meeting? I don't think Liam had an initiation rite like mine -- if he did, he'd have waited for me to pass it before treating me like an actual member.

No, this meeting seems to be proof that Professor O'Henry doesn't want me here -- to the point where he's willing to keep me locked in a shed or caught in someone's yard. I can't even trust my own leader. How sad is that?