SOBER IN THE CITY

Hell hath no fury...

May 1st at 6:15PM by Sara [246 comments]

"Seriously?" I asked, trying hard not to let my voice rise above a loud whisper, but failing miserably. "I ask you again...What. The. Fuck?"

After explaining in heated detail what had gone on (or not gone on, depending on how you chose to look at it) to Ashley and Tizzie, I looked around and suddenly became aware of the scene I was managing to create. Embarrassed that I had an audience of scowling strangers shooting major daggers in my direction and tired from rehashing my total crash and burn with Hunter, I collapsed into a big purple coffeehouse chair.

"I wish I'd known you were crushing on him last night," Ashley said, shaking her head. "I would've told you that Hunter just won't cross that line."

"Cross what line?" I screeched, my voice coming close to hitting silent dog-call levels in the process. "Please don't tell me he's one of those 'waiting until I'm married' types. I didn't even think those people existed anymore. Outside of the show '7th Heaven', I mean. And that's not even in reruns."

"It's nothing that dramatic," Ashley said, attempting to hold back her laughter. "He's an alcoholic for God's sake, not a priest. I'm sure plenty of devious activities go on in his bedroom."

Just none that are including me.

"Then what is it?" I asked, practically whining.

Ashley shot a look over at Tizzie before turning back and giving me a sympathetic smile.

"It's really simple actually," she said, shrugging. "Hunter hurt a lot of women while he was drinking. Did his share of loving and leaving, and now as a part of his living amends, he tries to do right by the women he meets. His not taking advantage of a newbie like you, who hasn't even gotten through her first 90 days, is his way of 'doing the right thing.' "

I went silent as I mulled over what Ashley said. After nearly a minute, I squinted my eyes at her seriously.

"But what if I want to be taken advantage of?" I asked, still a little confused by the logic. "I mean, he's not doing anything wrong if I'm a willing participant, right?"

Ashley let out an exasperated sigh as Tizzie rolled her eyes at me.

"Just because you're willing to walk into a bad situation, doesn't mean he'd be free from blame for encouraging you to do it," Ashley said in that slow sort of way a parent explains something to a child.

"You're just lucky you got a good one," Tizzie chimed in. "Most guys won't hesitate to hurt you if it means getting what they want."

Although I wholeheartedly agreed with her, I was surprised at the bitterness in Tizzie's voice.

"Yeah, but at least these guys are working a spiritual program," I said, joining in on the guy bashing sesh.

"People can manage to hurt you whether they're in recovery or not," Ashley added.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked. "We're all here, working the steps, all from the same book."

"Sure, we're all here, working the same steps, using a common solution, but that doesn't mean we're all working the same program," Ashley said matter-of-factly. "It's all about a person's interpretation of right and wrong in the end."

I suddenly felt like the clean and pretty world of AA that I'd built up in my mind was collapsing around me with this news. Before I could question Ashley further, Tizzie leaned forward conspiratorially.