SOBER IN THE CITY

Look, but don't touch

June 21st at 4:19PM by Sara [265 comments]

I slapped the paper down onto the coffeehouse table between Ashley, Tizzie and Hunter. The trio flinched at the noise and stared up at me questioningly.

"Jeez, Sar," Tizzie said, wiping at the drips of coffee that had fallen onto her jeans when she'd jumped.

"Yeah, where's the fire?" Hunter added jokingly.

"I am a horrible person," I said, slumping into the open chair.

"You're not a hor—" Ashley started to say.

"Right there," I said, jabbing my finger onto the middle of the newspaper. "Read it and witness my total ass-hatness right there in black and white."

My friends all exchanged looks and then huddled together over the paper. I rubbed at my throbbing temples as I waited for them to finish reading and start judging.

"So what? Another celebrity's getting sober," Hunter said, shrugging. "Big whoop. It's not like he's the first one."

"Yeah," Ashley added. "There's this meeting down in the village where I've seen at least three must-see TV stars."

"They're talking about Mr. Hollywood," I answered, guiltily.

"So? Wasn't it already public knowledge that he was in recovery?" Tizzie asked, her face scrunching up as she talked. "Besides, how do you even know it's about him? They didn't even say his name."

"Who's Mr. Hollywood?" Hunter asked, confused.

"They may as well have," I said, a frown forming on my face. "And the worst part is that I'm the one who outted him."

"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked.

"Well, you know how I told you guys that Mr. Hollywood had asked me out last week," I started. "We went on a date over the weekend and he took me to this totally underground, ultra-swanky club for dinner."

"Seriously, who are we talking about?" Hunter chimed in again, looking from Ashley to Tizzie and then back at me.

"Oooh. What club?" Tizzie asked excitedly.

"It didn't have a name, just a red door with a purple light bulb outside," I answered quickly.

"When did I turn invisible?" Hunter asked the room sarcastically.

"I totally know the place you're talking about!" Tizzie exclaimed, drumming her hands on the table. "Doesn't Demi go there a lot?"

I nodded at her before continuing.

"So, he takes me to this club and I was so psyched, because let's face it, how often does a girl get to go out to dinner with an Oscar nominee?" I babbled.

"Who are you talking—Oooooh," Hunter said, finally guessing Mr. Hollywood's identity. "Wait. You're still obsessing over him?!"

I rolled my eyes at Hunter and tried my best to ignore him as I continued.

"Anyway," I said. "We're having this great time and everything. Mr. Hollywood orders us a ton of different tapas: calamari, dumplings, and stuffed mushrooms....oh my God, you would not believe the stuffed mushrooms!"

"Stay on track," Ashley reminded me.

"Oh, right. So we'd just finished eating this awesome meal, and I'm basking in the afterglow and starting to wonder what Mr. Hollywood's clothes would look like on my floor, when these two tools came over and totally interrupted us."