Present time
Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.
Every day seems the same to me. I sit around and think about how alone I feel, then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the comfort of being sad. Sometimes it feels so right, and sometimes I'd like to be around no one for ten straight years. But I know this feeling can't bring me places, and I know I'm losing lots of ground, but to keep up means to get up. And why does it have to be the world keeps on changing while I just stay the same? I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone anymore, and I guess the world has made emotion obsolete. And I don't think I feel the same 'cause after all, who says what happy really means?
I've been treated like shit by too many people, I have my guard up at all times, and I've built walls because I'm afraid to ever get hurt again. I'm stubborn because if I'm not I get walked all over. I cry easy because I'm emotional and a wreck. I don't Make sense half the time because I have too many things run through my head at once. I'm not an easy person to understand.
Don't you hate it when people make a joke about you, about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about and they don't realize it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you'd rather forget. But you can't say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They'd know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside.
It's a cruel thing you'll never know all the way I tried. It's a hard thing faking a smile when I feel like I'm falling apart inside. And now you're gone, it's like an echo in my head, and I remember every word you said. And you never were, and you never will be mine. For the first time, there's no mercy in yours eyes. And the cold wind's hitting my face, and you're gone, and you're just walking away... and I'm helpless.
You
DON'T KNOW
what goes on in anyone's life but your own. & when you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with
JUST THAT PART
. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise & selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life. Everything... affects
EVERYTHING
.i think when you're
YOUNG
, you're hoping that this person will be the
RIGHT ONE
, the one you're going to be in love with forever. but sometimes you want that
SO MUCH
you create something that isn't really there -Johnny Depp
I do understand the impulse. the
IMPULSE
to put your hand out and want someone to
BE THERE
at the end of your reach. to want someone to
BE CLOSE TO
. to want to kiss or touch even if it's
WRONG
. the point is you can't control these feelings. even if they're
WRONG
, they're still there. they're always there.
What's the point in screaming? No ones listening anyway.
I'm young and I'm hopeless... I'm lost and I know this... I'm going nowhere fast... that's what they say... I'm troublesome, I've fallen... I'm angry at my Father... it's me against this world and I don't care.
She's not the kind of girl who likes to tell the world about the way she feels about herself.
id it surprise you that I am not who you thought I was? Did it surprise you to find that I don't exactly stand for what you thought I stood for all along? Did it surprise you to find that I'm not exactly how I played myself out to be? That the person you thought I was is actually nothing to what I am.
Everyone sees who I appear to be but only a few know the real me, you only see what I choose to show there's so much behind my smile you just don't know.
I like having low self-esteem it makes me feel special.
Take it from someone who's fallen... it's a long way down.
