South Park Gets A Little Gayer

Craig Does Something Gay

I wanted to upload this story because it's funny and gay as fuck. Enjoy.

Story is not mine.

There were a bunch of birds in the sky, and some deer just went running by. The snow was pure and white on the earth, rich and brown. Just a normal Monday morning in this quiet mountain town.

At least, the citizens thought so.

Before we discuss what made this day so different than the others, let's go into a seemingly normal household of the Marsh family. Specifically, a young ten year old by the name of Stanley Marsh. Stan was getting ready for school, decked in his normal brown jacket and red poof ball hat. It might have been May, but South Park was still chilly this time of year. It was Colorado, what do you expect?

"Stan, you better hurry or you'll miss the bus," Sharon Marsh called out to her son, a child who was absolutely perfect in her mind.

"Coming, mom!" The young boy replied, putting on his mittens and going downstairs, where his parents and older sister were eating.

"Get the fuck out of here, turd! No one wants you!" Shelly, the older sister of the boy, lisped at him. Shelly had a dangerously low self-esteem thanks to her headgear. This resulted in her picking on Stan.

"Now, now, Shelly. Quit worrying about your brother," Randy Marsh soothed his daughter in an almost robotic voice. He didn't have his coffee yet, so he really didn't care what was happening with his kids.

"Bye, mom! Bye, dad! Bye, bitch..." Stan said the last one under his breath, and he ran to the bus stop, which was right near his house. Luckily, the bus had not arrived, and his three best friends were waiting there.

"Hey, dude," Kyle Broflovski greeted his super best friend enthusiastically, which was ruined by the overweight, sadistic Eric Cartman.

"Hey, dude! My name is Kyle and I'm a dumb Jew who's totally gay for Stan," Cartman mocked, making their other friend Kenny McCormick chuckle beneath his huge orange parka.

"Shut up, fatass!"

"Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!"

Kenny gave a muffled exclamation.

"Kenny's right, can we not fight in the beginning of the day?"

Yep. Just another morning.

The bus soon arrived, and the boys got on. They were going to school with high spirits, eager to learn and to gossip. Unfortunately, Cartman bet Kenny he couldn't stick his head out the bus window for five minutes, and Kenny got his head ripped off by a cannibal deer.

"Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" Stan exclaimed.

"You bastards!" Kyle screamed.

After Kenny was killed, the children arrived as school. Kenny's body was quickly carried away by rats, since they would feed on the carcass.

The kids went to their fourth grade class, which was taught by Mr. Garrison, who was an underpaid man that hated every single student there. Especially a certain fatass.

"Take your seats, children," Mr. Garrison said, in a voice that was so dead it made actual corpses sad. "Today, we're going to be discussing your homework, which was to watch the final season of Lost. Today, we're going to talk about how bullshit that ending was. Take out a piece of paper for notes. This will be on your test on Wednesday."

xxx

The children took notes, except for a certain little boy. Craig Tucker, his name was, and he wasn't taking notes because he was worried about something. Something that would make this normal day not so normal.

At recess, the children were playing games and having fun, all except for Craig. The little boy was thinking hard, and he finally built up the courage to do the thing that was making him fret. This would prove to be his worse mistake, even more than trusting Eric Cartman. Made you wonder what was so dangerous it beat even that.

"Hey, Tweek," Craig greeted the jittery blond in a deadpan way that was normal for him.

"GAH! I mean, hey, Craig," Tweek replied, shaking and twitching as always.

"Can I tell you something? Behind the trailers? It's super serious." Tweek was, naturally, scared shitless. What was important? Did Craig want to kill him? Oh god, he was too young to die!

"Sure, Craig. Let's, AH, go!" Tweek was gritting his teeth, prepared to fight the boy with the blue hat if he needed to.

"Okay, cool." Craig went behind the trailers, where Sally Darson was usually selling kisses for five bucks. Luckily, she was not in school today, because she got some kind of illness from kissing too many boys. Slut.

"Okay, Craig, what do you, OH GOD, want?" Craig didn't answer. Instead, he did something that was really a stupid thing to do for someone who was so popular. He turned to Tweek, and quickly kissed him on the lips.

Tweek spazzed out, flailing and screaming incoherent things. Then, he passed out on the snowy ground.

Today was not going to be a normal day after all.