I wake up in bed and Sierra is asleep on the floor in the most awkward position I have seen someone sleep in. I pull myself out of my bed and begin to feel the bruising on my stomach and arms, I try to get out of my room quietly buy I ended up tripping over Sierras backpack.
"Good afternoon" Sierra jolts up
"Sorry I woke you up" I say as I push myself off the floor
"Ill go get you some water" Sierra explains as she walks out of my room
I wince at the pain as I pull myself up off the floor, I sit in the chair next to my desk. I wait about five minutes for Sierra then I hear her footsteps coming down the hallway.
"Here" she says as she hands a water bottle to me
"What were you doing, you took forever" I say after I laugh
"Tap water sucks, I jogged to the gas station down the street" she explained
"thanks, but you didn't have to do that" I say taking a sip
"Whatever" she says with a shrug
"wanna watch some TV?" I suggest
"Sure" Sierra agrees
We turn on my TV and flip around the channels for a while, we find nothing to watch and my mind drifts as Sierra runs through the foreign channels I begin to wonder how or if I'm gonna tell my mom I'm a girl, before the incident in the bathroom I realized I'm not gonna live forever. Its true nobody wants to accept death but if I decide to live life as Mary I must know that there are people out there willing to hurt me for my differences.
"I'm ready" I say to Sierra but still half in my own head
"Are you sure?" Sierra says already knowing what I mean
"Of course I am, if I don't do it soon then I'm never gonna do it" I say as I try to stand
"Do you want me there?" she asks
"I'll need you there" I say
Sierra and I stand up and head to my moms room, shes sitting on her bed and is reading a copy of some dollar store romance book.
"Are you okay?" my mom asks and puts her book down
"Mom I have to tell you something and I need you to keep an open mind" I say
I begin shaking and Sierra grabs my arm, I stop knowing that shes gonna be there.
"Okay go on" she says looking like shes trying to read my face
I stand there for a long time but it felt way longer.
"Mom I'm a transgender girl" I say almost crying
My mom stands quickly and walks over to me keeping her unreadable face, I half expect her to push me away and dismiss my feelings. But even after my thoughts she grabs me and hugs me, I hug her back and I begin to cry. Not soon after I feel her tears hitting my neck, Sierra heads back to my room.
"I love you, Matthew" she says tears still falling down her face
"I know and I love you too" I say as my lip quivers
"I will always be here for you" she says to comfort me
"Thank you" I say
"No, thank you. For trusting me enough to tell me" she says
We stand there hugging for a while then we go back to normal
"I love you, Matthew" my mom says
"I love you too" I say back as I walk back to my room
I walk in and sierra is sitting on my bed, she has her coat on. I look at the clock and see its getting late, I give her a hug and walk her out.
"I'm happy you decided to be yourself around everybody" Sierra explains to break the silence
"Me too, I'm happy you'll always be there" I say as my lips slowly curl into a smile
"you're gonna need new clothes, do you think your mom will let you skip tomorrow?" she says
"I don't know but I'll ask and message you" I tell her
"Okay just don't forget" she pleads
"I wont, bye" I say as she's already walking away
She lifts one hand in the air and waves bye. I head back inside and ask my mom if I can go shopping tomorrow, she accepts and asks how much money I'll need. I tell her a small amount but she hands me around $500, I hug her and head back to my room to tell Sierra I can. She reply's with joy and I head to sleep so I'm ready for tomorrow.
