The Secrets of America

Arthur Has A Rough Day

Arthur had a bad day. Like, awful. Seriously a huge mess. Someone had brought up independence at the World Meeting's lunch, and Scotland decided now was the time to confront England.

He was going to choke Alfred. That was the decision. There is no other thing to be done.

...besides, perhaps, a drink.

Arthur took a hard left to avoid a car barreling at him at full speed. "Bloody hell is wrong with you?!" He cried out the window. Settling back in his seat, he looked for the nearest pub. That's when another car came at him. Swerving once again, he thought, Goodness! What's gotten into these drivers?

Then, he remembered something. "Goodness!" He exclaimed, "I'm in the colonies!"

-----

Arthur grumbled at the barstool. Today had been one of the worst in awhile... the last he could remember being this bad was last week.

"Bartender," he called out, raising his glass. The man approached, and took in Arthur's worn appearance.

"What's got you in a funk?" He asked wile refilling the glass. "Ah, bad day is all." Arthur responded. "Well, lucky for you, the entertainment's about to begin." The barkeep winked at Arthur.

Arthur looked aghast as the stage along the left wall lit up in pinks and red. He witnessed in horror as Alfred F. Jones walked out to the stage, dressed only in pants, dress shoes, and a collar. Like that one movie, Arthur's mind registered.

But when Alfred started spinning around on a pole, Arthur snapped.

He didn't stop Alfred, however. No, he pulled out his wallet, slapped a twenty on the counter, vaulted over said counter, and crashed into the liquor stand (got me all wet, Arthur subconsciously thought). He grabbed the nearest unbroken bottle -vodka, apparently- and chugged it.

England blacked out.

From the stage, Alfred laughed nervously. "Sorry guys," he called to those watching, "Let me take care of that."

Dragging Arthur out, he laughed. "Why did you come into a gay bar in the first place?"

So, you can thank rameninsocialstudies for that. Also, I sprinkled some -ahem- suggestions throughout. Tell me if you find them!