Good Girl Gone Bad // Michael Clifford // gang! punk!

Chapter 12. Cocaine.

Chapter 12.

(WARNING: DRUG USE. please don't read if this could cause you to relapse into a drug addiction.) (AND SEX)

My body goes numb as the gunshot rings through the air. I drop the gun to the floor. I turn around and walk up the stairs before I know what I'm doing. I hear them calling for me but I can't answer.

I'm a murderer.

My conscience tells me that it was me or him. But I still killed him.

My heart is racing and my blood is pumping through my veins faster than normal. I just killed him, I didn't hesitate, I just did it.

My door flies open, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" A quiet voice asks. I look up and see Calum.

"I'm fine." I answer back. We are all aware that I'm lying, that I'm not fine.

"You don't have to lie." He speaks.

"Please just leave." I ask, and he does.

I sit in my room for hours. My thoughts continue to run wild and they don't stop.

I decide that maybe music will help me relax. So I pull out my phone and pull up my favorite song. I wish to find some sort of relief in the music, but I know I won't.

I find shelter in this way

Under cover, hide away

Can you hear when I say

I have never felt this way

Maybe I had said something that was wrong

Can I make it better with the lights turned on

Maybe I had said something that was wrong

Can I make it better with the lights turned on

Can I be, was I there

Felt so crystal in the air

I still want to drown whenever you leave

Please teach me gently on how to breathe

And I'll cross oceans like never before

So you can feel the way I feel it too

And I'll send images back at you

So you can see the way I feel it too

Maybe I had said something that was wrong

Can I make it better with the lights turned on

Maybe I had said something that was wrong

Can I make it better with the lights turned on

I find myself humming along to my favorite song. It almost numbs me. But the feeling is still there. It's like a heavy weight tied to my foot while I'm swimming in the ocean of remorse. No matter how hard I'll swim, no matter how hard I kick, it will always be there to pull me down.

I hate myself tonight. I'll wake up tomorrow and feel the same way. And the next morning and the next. It will be a never ending cycle, and I know it.

Before I know what I'm doing I've slapped on make up, and changed into the shortest dress I own, and I find myself walking down stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" A voice asks. I turn around and see Luke.