Book Critiques! [Closed For Catchup]

Breathe

By: FriendsWithDarkness

Cover:

I'd definitely scroll past this. It is not eye catching at all and it looks like it was done by an amateur. The boy on the cover isn't even that beautiful and the image is not so clear. Please use another model and a clearer picture. You'd find tons at WeHeartIt and I also didn't like the font used. Phonto has many pretty fonts. Heck, if you need a new cover with the same concept I could help.

Blurb:

Could you please explain to me why your blurb is inside your book?

You could keep the one outside and then add the one inside.
Very few people are going to be interested enough to click on the book. I understand you need reads but please, there are other methods to get reads than this.

Your current blurb is just as good as you putting "Read to find out."

Blurb inside the book:

Correction:

" Twitch had it easy...

Everything changed when the accident..."

Should be:

"But that was until the accident..."

"HE (pronouns were invented for a reason so stop repeating 'Twitch') was lonely and afraid, afraid of death but craving it.

Hating the pain but savoring it, Incapable of love but wanting it...

Time heals all wounds but it looked like HE WAS RUNNING OUT OF TIME (Instead of 'it looked like time was running out for Twitch')

Overall Take on Blurb inside the book:

It's a good blurb. Seriously. Just couple it with an awesome cover and I will actually want to read this book. Oh and please don't put your blurb in your book. It's simply annoying.

Use the correction I gave you and you'd have a perfect blurb.

Note: Since your book is not like every other book, I'd talk about the first three parts separately.

Blurb and Warnings.

In my opinion, this part is not needed. Why warn a reader when he has already clicked on your book?

Instead, put the warnings in the descriptions and title this part 'Copyright'

Corrections:

When you add this part to your description blurb, a simple:

Contains Mature scenes: Violence, sex scenes and improper language.

May contain triggers, read at your own risk.

Would suffice.

Copyright:

Your copyright doesn't seem serious enough. You're better off with the good old "All rights reserved."