The Girl From The Ocean

Home

I wake up scared. My leg is fine, my wound invisible. Gone forever. Like Jaephin. I cry out agonized. Someone on the other side of the room stirs and the light reflects his eyes, iridescent shades of green and blue bounce back at me. Finnick. I pass out again.

When I regain consciousness, it's not Finnick, but my prep team who greet me. They set to work immediately, though there's not much to do. I have been cleansed and descarred already,they just have to dress me in an outfit for my appearance out of the arena as a victor. I don't pay attention to what they're doing, and when Reiliok pulls a mirror in front of me I gasp in shock. They've turned me into a beautiful creature of the sea. My hair flows like waves, my skin glittering as though it's wet. I'm a mermaid. I turn to smile at Reiliok,but I find my mouth won't turn up at the corners. My eyes fill with tears. I'm not a mermaid. I'm a murderer.

I'm led to a lift and then,before I can blink, I'm popped out of a trap door. Screaming. Applauding. I want to scream and run away, but that's not an option. Maybe I can play one more game. Then I'm smiling and waving and blowing kisses. Caesar comes towards me and I give him a huge hug, to which the audience go wild. Caesar leads me to a soft red chair and I sit down whilst he takes an identical one opposite me.

 "So! Panem's latest victor! How are you tonight?"

  "Fantastic!" I say as enthusiastically as I can.

 "That's great to hear! Well let's watch the recap of your games shall we?"

  No. Let me go home. I think to myself, but I can't say that out loud, so I say okay and then a little girl, Snow's granddaughter I believe, skips up to me and places a crown on my head. I act delighted, although I want to throttle her. Then I sit back and re live the games. 

Most of it's painful. Seeing Raych in action almost brings me to tears, but I grit my teeth. I pretend I'm Diamena. Invincible. But when Jaephin gets stabbed my hands fly to my mouth and I break down in sobs. By the time it's over my face is probably red and splotchy, but I don't care. I breathe in deeply and compose myself whilst Caesar messes around with the audience. Then he faces me.  "Oceassa, I can tell that was hard for you to watch at the end." 

You don't bloody say! 

"Did you genuinely love Jaephin then?" He asks and my stomach flips.

"Yes. I think so." I say truthfully. It's obviously what the audience wants to hear. Someone cries loudly and other people join in too.

"Ah. But what about this boyfriend that he mentioned? Is it true? Are you in a relationship?"

  "It's complicated. But yes, I also love him." I say biting my lip. I hear someone in the audience squeal. Oh, the way Capitol citizens react to drama.

 "Oh well..I'll let you sort that one out yourself...but anyway Oceassa, your ally Raych..." He continues with questions until I'm so exhausted I can't think. Then it's over and I'm sent to a train carriage, where I collapse on a bed and fall into a restless sleep.

I wake up early and panic, until I realize I'm not in the arena anymore. I must've screamed out though, because Finnick bursts in, but when he sees that I'm okay he turns to go.

"I'm sorry Finnick." I say softly and he turns around. His eyes are cold and unforgiving.  "In the arena...." I begin, but he cuts me off.

 "Just shut up please."  I'm not going to give up that easily though.

 "I still love you Finnick."

  "Well, that's good for you. I never said I loved you.You should've stayed with my brother." He growls. "You should've kept him alive like you promised."

 "Finnick, I'm sorry...I tried! I wanted him to win just as much as you did! Even though, remember, you told me to forget my promise!" I whisper aggressively.

  "Sorry isn't going to bring him back is it?" He says, his voice more soft now. Then he leaves and I bury my head under the pillow. I don't want to face my family today...I just want to close my eyes forever. Nothing makes sense at the moment. But a sentence rings out in my head clearly.

Nobody's going to love you like I do.

 That sweet phrase, shows me it's true meaning now. I fell in love with Finnick Odair. What did I expect? He's the whole of Panem's heartthrob. He has a dirty reputation....his kisses were nothing. Jaephin however, died saving me. Now I have neither of them.

I'm home before I know it. The population swarms me like a tidal wave, and I have to swim through the sea of people to reach my brothers and father. But I eventually reach them and they hug me so tight, I begin to think the games never happened. The victory tour flies by. Finnick doesn't speak to me. I miss him. A lot. I can bear with the loss of Jaephin...just. But Finnick's so real, it's hard not to rush into his arms. I look into the eyes of the tributes loved ones. Most have a hard unforgiveness that reflect so bitterly Finnick's expression, the few times he's in my company. I survive the tour without cracking. Even 8, although Raych's family all have such distinguished similarities to her. 

Then finally, the camera crews leave, my family move into the victors village. Everything is going to be ok. I think. I couldn't be more wrong.