Marks or masks

Suffering

First it was Pidge, and it could've ended there. But it just didn't seem to be Lance's day, because next on the list of aggressors was Shiro.

While Lance was on his way to his room so he could calm himself, he bumped into the older male. Lance settled the unease in his features, if only for a bit, and waved at Shiro, the mark on his finger contrasting with his tan skin.

Shiro had never really paid attention to the mark, but up close, it was incredibly stunning. The mark went from the bottom of his left hand up to the top of his ring finger, as very few do. There were many colorful flowers along a deep green vine, colors exploding like fireworks.

But at this moment,  Shiro couldn't care less.  He had just had a rough time in one of the training simulators, the bot he fought against was far past his level and attacked him.  It didn't take long to realize that the system was malfunctioning.  Shiro had to fight until Allura and Coran could override the system,  and the black paladin was injured in the process.

So at the time, Shiro wasn't in the mood for one of Lance's antics.  And,  frankly, Lance wasn't in the mood either.  But he had to keep up his act.

Lance plastered on a cheeky smile,  nudging the older paladin lightly on the shoulder. "Heyy, Shiro, what's with the long face?" Lance continued smiling as Shiro rolled his eyes.

"Not now, Lance. I'm not in the mood for one of your stupid antics,  so leave me alone. " Lance froze. He let his features fall as he just... left.  He roughly pushed past his superior, storming off,  but not before snapping back with a simple, "Fine."

It took a bit for Shiro to realize he has struck a nerve.  He figured that Lance was just trying to make him feel better,  and he snapped at him,  not even thinking about the younger boy's feelings.  He mentally face palmed, making his way to the infirmary.

On his way,  he bumped into Pidge, who looked stressed. The black paladin put a hand on her shoulder,  sending her a solemn look. "Hey, somethin' wrong, Pidge?" She looked up to meet his gaze,  eyes lined with guilt.

"I... I said something really uncalled for to Lance when he was just trying to help... I didn't mean to but... He seemed really hurt." She let her gaze fall to the ground. Shiro nodded,  staring blankly at a spot on the wall.

"I did the same thing... just now..." Pidge's head snapped up to look at Shiro before she mumbled something,  that Shiro made out to be the words,  'oh no'. He had no chance to ask anything before Pidge bolted to the kitchen, on her way to find Hunk.

And she did.  She found him making some cookies from a weird space plant from one of the planets they'd freed. "Hunk! We may have a problem!" The yellow paladin turned around, surprised to see Shiro behind a panting and worried Pidge.

"What is it?" He asked,  though he already had a clue. "Shiro did something to aggravate Lance, and now he's even angrier than before!" Hunk inhaled sharply.

"We have to find him.  Now." With that,  Hunk ran out of the kitchen. Shiro and Pidge followed,  eventually all agreeing to go their separate ways.

Meanwhile, Lance had bumped into the person he wanted to talk to least.  Keith.  The Cuban boy sighed,  pasting a smirk onto his face. He was an amazing actor.  Keith just rolled his eyes, almost convinced to turn around.

Lance stopped in front of Keith, keeping the smirk on his face. "'Sup,  mullet head," the tan boy teased, looking down at the shorter boy. Keith scoffed,  obviously not in the mood.

So,  he snapped immediately,  saying the worst thing possible. "Screw off, McClain. Why don't you go be useless and homesick somewhere else?" Lance flinched.  His face turned into a frown,  struggling to hold back tears.

He shoved Keith out of his way,  running away.  He didn't know where he was going,  but it was anywhere but there.

Keith watched as Lance ran,  slowly realizing what he'd said. As of on cue, Hunk ran up to Keith,  already knowing what was to come.

"Have... y-you... have you seen Lance..?" He already knew the answer.

"Yeah..." It was like he was just wasting time.

"Where is he?" This was stupid.

"I... said something terrible and he ran..." Hunk ran so fast,  no one would've ever thought it possible.

●•●•●•●•●•●

Lance was so done.  He didn't want to do it anymore.  This stupid mark didn't match him. He felt so stupid. 

He didn't really know where he was,  but it didn't matter.  All he knew was that he couldn't breathe.  He was sweating,  hyperventilating, shaking.  He was having a panic attack.  He needed relief, and he needed it soon.

Tears were leaving tracks down his face as he pulled out a blade from his pocket. It had been awhile since he cut, nine months,  three weeks and two days to be exact, but he needed this.

He held the blade up to his skin,  ready to start.  He started with one,  then two,  then three,  and it soon ended up as fifteen cuts,  spelling the words, 'WHY ME'  in all capital letters.

The blue paladin watched the blood trickle down his arm,  leaving pools on the ground.  He watched as the red liquid spilled,  still crying. It wasn't enough.  He needed more,  he was going to lose it.  He was going to die here and now, just like everyone wanted.

He took the blade and put it front of his throat,  hands shaking,  tears continuing to fall.  He was ready.  No one was going to miss him.  They only needed him for voltron, and the description for his lion only followed what his mark said,  not his actual personality.

Allura could fly blue,  he didn't want anything to do with this twisted universe.  It took a few ticks for Lance confirm that this is what he wanted,  but when he did,  he wasn't going to hesitate.

He put the blade to his throat,  pushing slowly and making blood trickle down his neck.  He was going to end it all, he was going to end his l everyone's suffering.

He was going to end his suffering.