The Preacher's Daughter (GxG/LESBIAN)

|| FOUR ||

  My eyes flutter open to reveal my familiar bedroom, the baby blue walls plastered in photographs of family and friends. I breathe out a sigh of relief, thinking hopefully last night was only a dream.

"Hey, you're awake."

I look to the doorway to find a familiar face holding a box in one hand and a plastic one in another. Lanette's blonde hair is a mess and it's obvious that she fished around in my closet. She's clad in a purple tee-shirt with my initials in baby blue sprawled across the front and a pair of my dark blue Nike shorts. She lifts the things in her arms, "I brought breakfast and medicine for if you have a hangover."

I smile half-heartedly at the girl. "Thank you," I manage as the girl takes a seat on the edge of my bed and begins fishing items out of the containers.

  "I hope you like donuts," she starts to ramble, "I didn't know what kind you would want, so I got, like, ten different kinds."

  "Lane," I pull her off the donut-train of though, "We, uh, we need to talk." The girl nods, her eyes still fixated on the donuts. "Did you, uh, sleep with me last night?"

  Her eyes instantly shoot up to me, "No." She then motions to the edge of the bed, a palette made of blankets on the floor beside it. "I wasn't going to leave you alone drunk, Aud."

  I ignore the swirling feeling in my chest. "We kissed." I blurt, deciding to tackle the lingering topic head-on. "Does that make me gay?" I ask genuinely, my stomach churning as Lanette smiles a smile that doesn't quiet reach her eyes.

  "No, Audrey. That does not make you gay."

  "But...Lanette, I..." I stumble, my eyebrows knitting together as I try to string together a coherent sentence to accurately divulge my inner feelings. "We kissed."

  "I know." She chuckles, shaking her head, "I know. I bet you're having some sort of existential crisis in your head right now, but don't worry. I'll forget about it if you do."

  I want to yell at her that I don't want to forget. That I have some sort of crush on her. That's the only logical explanation for these urges and thoughts that I have towards her - a crush.

  The only thing that escapes is a whispered thanks, however. I know that it isn't the time to be admitting irregular feelings towards someone I have no business being with. She'll be leaving at the end of summer and I want her to be better - not stuck in the same rut that I will drag her back into with stolen kisses and empty promises that were never mine to offer in the first place. She needs someone who doesn't have to worry about a pristine reputation nor question if they're experimenting.

  I steal another look at the gorgeous girl, knowing what I have to do.

  "Thank you for everything." I smile tightly at her before sucking in a breath, "I should really get to cleaning up though. My dad'll be home soon and I don't really want to explain to him that I had went to a party, thus why you're here and I stink of alcohol."

  Lanette smiles unknowingly at me, nodding as she begins collecting her belongings. "I can wash your clothes and give them back to you next time we hang."

  Once again, I manage a tight-lipped smile and a word of approval.

 

 

   I haven't really communicated with Lanette since that day. She came round to bring me my clothes and I exchanged a few words with her before shutting my front door and returning to my room to cry out my frustration. She tried to talk to me at church and I busied myself with others to avoid staring at the girl's mouth as she attempted to capture my attention. She texted invite after invite, apology after apology, and I ignored.

  I am laying on my back on the floor, SpongeBob playing on TV. My attention is on the ceiling, however, my mind on an entirely different planet - the only place I can be myself without suffering repercussions.

  The sound of the doorbell pulls me back to Earth and I leap up from the floor. I pull open the front door, my eyes meeting familiar green orbs.

  "What the fuck, Audrey?"

  "Lanette..." I muster, my eyes locked with the angry green orbs. "What are you doing here?"

  "You know what the fuck I'm doing here." She spits, venom leaking from her works, "Why are you avoiding me?"

  "Lane," I sigh.

  "I've texted. I've called. It's been two weeks!" Lanette's hair is wet from the drizzling rain and her cheeks are pink in contrast to her pale face from the cold yet she still manages to look beautiful. "I-I've done everything! Is this about the kiss?" I look away from her, staying silent. She grabs my chin and guides me to look at her once again. "I said I'd forget about it. You don't have to worry about anything with me, I'm not letting your little-"

  "Maybe that's the problem." I push her hand away from my chin.

  "What? What are you saying?"

  "Maybe I don't want you to forget!" I let out the words that I've left sizzling in my chest for the past two weeks. I shake my head and look towards the ground before sucking in a breath and returning my gaze to her, "I...I'm selfish. I shouldn't have avoided you and I'm sorry. I needed space to figure things out and seeing you only confuses me all the more."

"You're confused? You said you wanted to forget about it-"

"I said thank you." I counter.

Lanette grips the roots of her wet hair, emitting a frustrated sound from the back of her throat. "Why are you so complicated, PD?" She steps closer to me, her hands leaving her hair to grip my oversized teeshirt. "If you want me, all you have to do is say so."

That's the thing though - I don't want her. In fact, if I were given the choice, I'd catapult her off into another galaxy if it meant that things would go back to how they were before she infected my brain with her charm and charisma. My will-power when it comes to Lanette is in the negatives though. My attraction and magnetic pull towards her is completely involuntary.

It's raining hard now, the sound beating against the ground and serving as a curtain to shield us from wandering eyes.

  We find ourselves drifting dangerously close to each other, Lanette's nose pressing into my cheek as presses a lingering kiss to the side of my mouth, a sign of fleeting self control.

  "I don't know what to do." Lanette admits.

  "I don't either." I mutter, "I just... I thought alcohol was supposed to make you forget things. I can't seem to forget how it felt to kiss you though..."

  Lanette chuckles, her lips ghosting over my own for a heartbeat before she tenderly places a kiss to the aching flesh. Before I can fully memorize every curve of her lips, they're removed. Lanette releases my teeshirt from her grip, a slight smirk etching across her face.

  "I'd better get home, Aud." She invades my personal space once more to kiss my cheek before smiling and heading back to her grandfather's vehicle.