"together"

the longing - 2.1

the others saw through my sadness just like you did.

"hyung, you're not eating properly," taehyung said one say.

"namjoon-ah," yoongi hyung said. "you should talk to her."

i saw you, sitting opposite to me in the living room sofa, tensing up.

all of us were here. it was a 'meeting'.

"why?"

"you'll feel better."

yoongi hyung had a girl he liked when we had just debuted.
she was from daegu. his childhood friend. his first love.

he used to call her every night.
and by three in the morning, the happy tone would have disappeared and he could be heard quietly sobbing.

when the manager found out, he asked yoongi to cut off connections with her.

the next few months were awful.
i had never seen yoongi hyung this restless.
he looked like he wanted to cry, scream or lash out.

but he swallowed it all.
he broke up with her over the phone.
she understood the reason.
there was relatively less screaming and crying.

yoongi hyung told her -
if fate wants us to be true, i'll come back for you.

it's been two years since and he's doing fine.
they never spoke after that.
maybe the distance helped.

"look, we'll try our best to convince the manager," hoseok said.

"you shouldn't have to go through what i meant, joon," yoongi hyung prompted.

you looked restless opposite to me.
you looked like you wanted to tell them the truth.
i wish you did.
then i wouldn't have done what i did.

it wasn't the first i wanted to tell you.
but never before had i been encouraged to do it.
all of them looked at me with so much hope, that i got a strange sense of relief and courage.

i fished out my phone and called her.

called you.

hoseok, tae, jungkook, jimin and yoongi hyung looked at me expectedly as I pressed my phone to my ears.

then your phone rang.
yoongi hyung told you to hang up
but then he noticed how pale your face looked.

i looked straight at you, taking in all that my eyes could see. maybe this would be our last day together. who knows?

you were looking at me, eyes wide, phone in your hand. i bit my lip. please, don't hate me.

you picked up the phone, still looking at me.

"namjoon-ah," you muttered, voice shaking. did you figure it out now?

"hyung," i said. my voice was trembling so much, eyes watering up.

they looked at me, looks of confusion etched on their faces.

then slowly they figured out and my tears spilled. second time they saw me cry. your hand covered your mouth and i blinked.

"i love you. i'm sorry."