Nightlight (on hold)

Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Of course, the second I enter my old home, I come face to face with none other than Harry Styles.

I let out a mini scream, just because I was in pure shock. I was not expecting him to be there. Out of everyone Zayn could have sent after me, he sent the one man I could barely stand. I had every right to hate him after what he did to my best friend.

“Jesus, relax. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I had somehow found my way back to London. I walked through the streets, in muddy socks and tear stained cheeks. I could feel everyone’s stares and I could even hear their whispers.

“That’s Malik’s girl.”

“I heard they got married.”

“I heard she forgot to take birth control and he knocked her up.”

“I heard he beat the baby out of her.”

Of course, none of that was said to my face. No one dared to say it to me. One Direction still had tight control over London and its people. They were just as afraid of me as they were of Zayn.

And it killed me.

I hated being pedestaled for no reason. I hated that no one dared to speak to me, or offer a smile. It made me feel so alone.

I went to the one place that I could think of: Our old apartment.

Because of who I’m married to, I was able to go through the building and up to the abandoned penthouse. In fact, no one even tried to stop me, even though I had no access pass or key.

Harry went and sat down on the floor, right in front of a wall with a deep hole in it. I didn’t remember Zayn putting his fist through that one, it must have been when I was gone. Harry patted down the spot next to him, indicating that he wanted me to sit down.

I shook my head and turned to leave, but paused when I realized I had nowhere to go.

“Come on, Darlin’,” he smirked, mocking Zayn’s affectionate nickname for me, “I don’t bite unless you want me to.” I reluctantly sat next to him, but just because I had nothing else to do and not because I wanted to actually be near him at all.

“If he heard the way you’re talking to me, he’d kill you.” I pointed out.

“Ah, but he’s not here. And he doesn’t know that I’m here. So, no harm.” I felt a fleeting emotion of fear in my chest, but when I looked up at Harry, the feeling disappeared. He was looking at me in a way I had never seen him look at someone. It was almost… caring?

Harry Styles is NOT caring.

Absolutely not.

“So he didn’t send you after me?” I questioned. My inquiry was only answered with an obnoxious laugh that made me want to punch Harry in the face.

“Hannah, babe, he sent EVERYONE after you. The poor bloke’s a mess. He’s just about ready to eat his gun.” Harry shrugged, as if it were obvious and no big deal. I sighed sadly.

“He thinks I got kidnapped again, doesn’t he?”

“Probably. Or he thinks you’ve left him for good. Either way, he’s fucking falling apart.”

“Shit.” I murmured, instantly feeling guilty. I should’ve expected this. I knew Zayn was going to react badly. Yet, that didn’t stop me from climbing out the window and fleeing to our old apartment.

“Do you want me to call him?” Harry offered as he reached into his back pocket to grab his phone. I lurched forward and snatched the device from his grasp before he could carry out with his offer.

“No. Not yet.” I whispered.

“Fine, but he’ll find you soon enough. He’s got a tracker on you.” Harry mumbled, grabbing his cell phone back.

“But I left my phone back near the house… In the mud.”

Harry let out a dark chuckle.

“Oh please. You think that he only put a tracker in your phone? Come on, Hannah, you’re smarter than that. He knew you’d figure it out so he put another one on you.” Harry’s eyes grazed over my body, but not in a seductive way at all. He knew where the tracker was and he wasn’t going to tell me.

“Please. Where is it?”

“You’ll never get rid of it.” He smirked. I hated that he knew something so critical about me and I was having such trouble figuring it out.

“Is it embedded under my skin like they do in the Hunger Games? He did it in my sleep, didn’t he?” I whined. I pushed my sleeves up to inspect my forearms, but even I knew Zayn would be more subtle than that.

“He’s overprotective, not sadistic.” Harry pointed out. I looked up at him and mustered the best puppy dog face I could. It always worked on Zayn, but all Harry did was roll his eyes.

“That works on your husband ‘cause he can get a good fuck outta it, so it’s flat for me, babe.”

“Please just tell me.” I begged.

“It’s on something you’d never remove.”

That’s it? That’s the biggest hint he could give me. He stared at me as if I should immediately know the answer, but I couldn’t pinpoint anything.

“My… bra?” I asked quietly, feeling a blush creep on my cheeks. Was I really mentioning underwear to Harry Styles, of all people? Oh god…

“No, because I’m pretty sure you’d remove that. In fact, you can even remove it now, I don’t mind a bit.” He laughed. I grimaced at his reaction to my response.

“You’re such a dude.” I scrunched up my nose to highlight my disgust. Of course, it only made him laugh harder. I slapped his arm in retaliation, but quickly drew away my touch.

I shouldn’t have done that.

The last time I hit Harry, he practically ordered Zayn to beat me to death with his belt.

I gripped my hand to my chest tightly and stared at Harry with wide eyes. I couldn’t believe that I just hit him. Even joking around, I had no idea how Harry would take it. I quickly mumbled an apology and waited for the worst.

But Harry surprised me when he grabbed my hand. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at it.

“What happened?”

I glanced down at what he was staring at. I had completely forgotten about my bandaged hand in all the commotion. Drawing my attention back onto the injury only served as a reminder for its pain.

“I tried to bake for him.”

“Seriously? And how’d you think that would turn out? Hmm?” He chuckled. I pulled my hand away from him sharply, and cradled it to my chest.

“I know. I can’t cook. You’re not the first fucking person to point that out.” I snarled. I pushed myself off the ground. I didn’t have to stick around just so he could make fun of me. I went towards the elevator, but Harry grabbed me and dragged me back to where we had been sitting.

“Stop being such a fucking drama queen.” He snapped. I let him push me back down to the floor into a seated position, like we had been in before.

“Why’d you run?” He asked after neither of us spoke for a few minutes.

“I didn’t run. I’m just taking a break.” I whispered in response.

“Ok… then, why’d you take a break?”

“We were arguing.”

“He told us he stopped with the beating.” Harry mused, shrugging as if our history of domestic violence was casual and common.

“He did. We just argued.” I snapped. I instinctively inched away from him.

“And you ran?”

“He locked the nursery. He locked me out of the one room in the house that I feel comfortable in. I don’t belong anywhere else. I don’t belong and he took it from me!” I defended myself. Harry was making me out to be a coward. I… I just needed a break. That’s all.

“You should tell Zayn about this. You can’t keep it bottled up. He thinks you’re unhappy because of him. Do you know that?” Harry questioned me seriously. His intense green eyes were staring at me, unblinking.

“Why are you being so nice to me? Why do you even care?”

He wasn’t able to respond. He was about to, but then the elevator doors dinged open and about six men, guns drawn, rushed out. In the center of all the commotion was the man of the hour: My husband.

He immediately spotted Harry and I and stormed forward. Wordlessly, he grabbed me, hoisting me off the ground as if I weighed nothing, and held me tightly to his chest. My feet weren’t touching the ground, but I felt safe in Zayn’s strong arms.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered to me, his voice hoarse and trembling slightly. It portrayed the exact amount of fear he held after he found his house empty.

“I’m sorry.” I cried against him. He held me for a moment longer, but then slackened his grip so he could move me to his side.

“Harry, you told me you’d call me once you found her!” Zayn’s tone immediately changed to one of anger and harshness. His hands were shaking a little, and I felt slightly afraid of him. As horrible as it sounds, I was grateful that his anger was pointed towards Harry and not me.

“She said she didn’t want me to call you! She was upset and I was respecting her wishes.”

“I don’t care what she wanted. I told you to call me! I’VE HAD THE WHOLE GANG TEARING APART THIS CITY! You’ve just been sitting here with her, chatting like a bird.”

“She’s a person, Zayn, you need to realize that she has needs too.” Harry retorted quickly.

And then it all happened so fast.

Zayn shoved me back roughly, making me stumble backwards. I was caught by one of the gang members, whose name I didn’t know. He held me gently but firmly and as much as I fought against him, I couldn’t get free.

I had to just stand there and watch as Zayn pounced on one of his best friends. The two tumbled on the floor. There was shouting and lots of thudding. I could hear Zayn shouting angry things, and Harry defending himself.

I tried to scream out, but no words came to my mouth. The tears were hot as they trailed down my cheeks and all I could do was just shut my eyes. I squeezed my eyelids down so that the only thing I could see was the nauseating darkness.

“LOOK AT HER! You’re destroying her!” Through all the shouting and noise, I was able to make out Harry’s distinctive voice. My eyes fluttered open to find that it all stopped.

Everyone was frozen.

And everyone was looking at me.

“Let go of her.” Zayn’s voice was quiet, but the man holding me released me instantaneously. I met my husband’s hazel eyes and felt sad. He looked so sad, it made me feel sad.

“Darlin’, you want to go home?” I nodded slowly and took small steps toward him. I wanted to feel his touch but when he reached for me, I flinched. Maybe it was because his hands were cut up from fighting. Maybe it was because his face was bruised and cut. Maybe it was because I got a good glimpse of Harry’s injuries.

But I didn’t want him touching me anymore.

The car ride home was silent. I let him lead me back up to the constricting house without a word. I didn’t try to run, or resist. I turned to go upstairs, but Zayn reached his arm out and blocked the stairwell.

“Not yet, Darlin’. Let’s go talk, yeah?” He said softly. It didn’t sound like he was giving me much of a choice, so I followed him into the kitchen. He went and flicked on the kettle while I took my seat at the kitchen table.

“What are we talking about?” I asked once he sat down across from me. He pushed a mug of tea towards me. I took a sip and stared down at the liquid. I could look at anything but his eyes.

“Did you really think I’d let you get far?” He asked me. His voice wasn’t harsh or bitter. It was just… questioning.

“No. I knew you wouldn’t.”

“Then why’d you run?”

“I wasn’t running. I-I I just needed to get out of this house.”

“So you escaped through the window? You ran away from me, when you could have just come to me and told me you needed to get out. I would’ve taken you out!” He worked hard to keep his voice quiet. Below shouting level.

He hated yelling at me. He hated scaring me at all. He treated me like I was a broken doll. I think he thought that he was the one who broke me, the abuse, the kidnapping, the miscarriage. But it was my fault, not his. But he was afraid of hurting me, so instead he tiptoed around me and made me feel like an insane person.

“I needed to be alone and I was angry at you.”

“Because I locked the nursery?” I nodded, confirming his suspicion. He rubbed his stubbly jaw with his open palm and pushed away from the table. He looked at me and shook his head before storming out of the kitchen. Normally, I’d sit there and let him deal with his anger, but I needed to talk to him. We needed to get passed this.

“No! Zayn! Please don’t walk away from me!” I screeched as I chased after him. I caught up to him as he began to head to the gym, in the basement. I grabbed onto his arm, which caught him completely off-guard. He turned around to look at me with wide eyes.

“Why do you keep running from me?”

“I’m going to do some stress relief. Leave me alone! I’m angry enough as it is, I don’t want to do something I’ll regret!” He snapped. He tried to pull away from me, but I clung on tightly.

“You’re angry? Then yell at me! You wanna hit me, go ahead! Just don’t walk away from me. The worst thing you can do is walk away from me!” He grabbed me tightly and started to drag me away from the gym door. He sat me down on the couch and kneeled in front of me.

“You don’t know what you’re asking. Now stay put.” He snarled. He stood up to leave, but I wouldn’t let him. I latched onto him again with pure determination. I could tell he was getting sick of my antics, but I needed him to work through this WITH me and not in the basement, punching a bag.

“Seriously, you have NO idea what you’re asking.” He snapped. I could tell he was beginning to come unraveled. His composure was cracking and he was going to break. I wanted that. I needed him to break. I needed him to be unrestricted around me. I hated how he felt the need to coddle me.

We’re Zayn and Hannah. We’re passionate and intense. Sometimes things get rough, but that’s our relationship.

“Please! Just…. Tell me what’s going through your head! Tell me why you’re mad!” I begged him. I held onto him tightly, but my knees started to give out and I crumbled to the floor. Zayn yanked me back up to my feet. He held me tightly so I wouldn’t collapse again.

“I thought someone came into my house and took you again, right from under my nose. And you didn’t even leave a fucking note!” He whispered harshly. I could tell that it really pained him to be so frank with me, but it’s what I needed. It’s what our relationship thrived on.

“I’m sorry.” I said as sincerely as I could. I really was sorry for making him so worried. When I climbed through the window, I didn’t think about how he’d see it all. It didn’t even cross my mind.

I’m so selfish.

“I know.” He muttered. He helped me back down onto the couch and kissed my forehead. Without another word he headed down to the gym, leaving me on my own. Once again. So I just buried my face in my hands and cried.