the girl who played with knives || clato ✔️

10

Cato

Soon after I leave Clove's room, we are all called to an early breakfast so we can be handed over to our prep teams sooner rather than later. I'm not very hungry. I have pretty much always had enough to eat, but even so being stuffed with the finest food in the world is quite a change and is doing weird things to my stomach. Or maybe it's nerves. Either about Clove or about the Tribute Parade tonight. I make myself think it's the latter. It doesn't feel right to be nervous around Clove. We've been inseparable since middle school. It's honestly very funny how one almost-kiss can change that. I then have the unsettling realization that the almost-kiss probably wasn't the cause. The Games were the cause. My volunteering. I wonder if Clove really could have made it back on her own and we would get to live happily ever after. I push the thought away because it's too late now. We're both here and that's that.

Which leads me back to the almost-kiss. Clove only stopped me when our lips were practically touching, and she said she'd wanted to kiss. But that we couldn't. Now we have decided to ignore that though. Which is why I almost-kissed her again. But I got nervous because I didn't know if she wanted to, and I didn't know if I should, and the moment was gone. I will have my moment though. I must.

Clove

That day when Cato nicknamed me 'the girl who played with knives' was also the day we found out my father had been promoted to head peacekeeper of District 12. My mother was in a tizzy because she knew she couldn't raise me alone. I made a comment about how dad wasn't doing much of a good job raising me anyway, since he left when I was a baby, and was sent to my room for the rest of the night. I didn't understand why my mother cared so much until I found out it was my father's paychecks that he sent us part of that we're keeping us out of poverty. I'd never been told because my mother didn't want me to worry.

The next morning when I got up, my mother was asleep at the dining room table. I shook her awake and she told me dad was gone already and told me about the paychecks and how we couldn't receive anymore now that dad was in 12 and they were getting an official divorce. She seemed sad, and I guess even though he left us, she still loved him. And she was right about it being harder to support the family. We struggled for a while; mom had to get a job. Several actually, and our well-oiled family dynamic fell into disrepair.

Eventually, we got back on our feet with the help of Aunt Rose and some of our nicer neighbors. Cato told me he'd convinced his mother to give us some money but his father wouldn't let her. Even though we now had enough to live off of, mom was never really the same. She grew more distant; I guess maybe she did love dad. I asked her once and she gave me the mysterious answer of "You never know how much you love something until it's gone."

I threw knives a lot during that time. I was confused about my feeling towards my dad. Did I hate him? I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Did I feel sad as well, because I'd never gotten to meet him? Surely. I mean, he is my father. I wonder what life would be like if he'd stayed.

-

After a quick breakfast of warm bread spread with soft cheese, I am taken to my prep room to be made beautiful. I'm told to lay on a cool metal table by an extremely skinny girl with baby blue skin and eyes, and bright red hair in some sort of braided up do. Her name is Lilliana. The rest of my prep team is made up of Anora and Beckson, who are twins with hair that is actually golden and excessive gold makeup and tattoos.

The first thing my prep team does is strip me of any hair on my body- except for my head of course- and rub me down with an assortment of different oils and lotions. They turn my fingernails and toenails into perfect rounded shapes and paint them with a shiny clear gel. Surprisingly they don't give me a lot of makeup. Just some light pink lip gloss, black mascara and a little black eyeliner, mentioning my natural beauty which causes a smile. Then the prep team runs off to go find my stylist.