the girl who played with knives || clato ✔️

14

Cato

After I've changed into the outfit Freya left for training, I make my way to the dining room. The table is empty, but there's a long board off to the side with at least twenty dishes laid upon it. An Avox stands silently by the spread. I take a plate and serve myself and am just walking over to the table when Mortar appears suddenly. I freeze, looking for an escape. There is none.

"Morning," Mortar says, nodding in my direction. I answer with a nod back. He makes his way to the food and loads a plate. He sits in the empty seat across from me. I silently nibble on a roll.

"I take it you're not a morning person," Mortar says.

The roll turns to cement in my throat. I nod, trying to remind myself there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. That's not true. There's always something to be afraid of.

"Not very talkative either."

I shake my head and swallow.

"Well, you're a bit odd, aren't you?"

I give him a glare that he doesn't notice. He's barely even looked up from his food.

"No," I say.

"So you can talk."

"Yes."

Mortar suddenly looks up at me, staring at me with such intensity I can almost feel his eyes burning into my skin.

"Listen, kid-"

"You're like a year older than-"

"Nearly three. And I'm a hell of a lot more experienced, so you best listen to meif you don't plan on dying the second you get into that arena."

"I do actually."

"Do what? Plan on dying? Well then, I guess I'll just leave you to your own devices."

Both of us are standing now, leaning over the table at each other. Mortar looks like he could punch me, and I feel exactly the same way.

"I am not your friend. I am only here to get you in and out of the arena- nothing more. If you expected someone to do your hair and have tea parties with, you best give up on that, because we are going to do this my way. And that means you listen to me and do whatever I say without question. Understood?"

After a long silence, I throw my chair away from me. Is crashes into the far wall with a loud crunch.

"You're nothing but a killer," I say icily.

"Am I? You may feel differently when you have to do the same thing I did! You will do whatever it takes to make it out of the arena. Whatever it takes. Even if it means killing the people you thought were your friends. No one is your friend in there. They all have one goal, and that is to kill, or be killed. You'll be just like the rest of us. No matter how hard you try. You could kill Clove without even realizing it."

I exit noisily from the room, throwing another chair into a wall on my way. Lav is in the hallway with Clove. I hear them calling but ignore them both. I slam the door to my room so hard that it falls to the ground and a hint of a thought greets me, that perhaps the Capitol is not so bulletproof as it illudes. Clove and Lav stand there staring. Clove looks scared: of me or for me?

I try to push past them, but there's no need. They move to let me by wordlessly, out of fear. This makes me more upset and I take off running for the stairs leading to the roof. I'm losing control. My mind is slipping into madness. I don't know what triggered it, and I don't know how to stop it. I sprint up the stairs and am on the roof in no time. I stagger towards the railing on the edge and collapse about halfway there.

Clove

"Wait... Cato, wait! I'm sorry!" Cato has already made it into the stairwell by the time I regain my senses. I run as fast as I can and almost fall down when I take the sharp turn into the stairwell. I run up the stairs, skipping half the steps, pulling myself up with the rail, until I find myself at the top. The door to the roof is open, and a light breeze comes from outside it.

"Cato?" I step through the door cautiously, not sure what I will find.

Cato is chrouched on the ground, trembling. The muscles in his arms bulge with the force of his hands pressed firmly on his head and his eyes are squeezed shut, his teeth gritted.

My first instinct is to run to him, but I make myself wait. I'm not sure how stable he is, and as much as I hate the feeling, I'm afraid of him in this moment.

"Cato? It's Clove. It's... Everything's okay. I'm here, Cato. You're fine. I..."

"I'm not a killer I'm not a killer I'm not a killer I'm not a killer..." Cato mumbles under his breath. He turns towards me, but leans over with a hand on his forehead. He looks like he's in intense pain and it takes all I am not to run to him.

"Cato..."

"I WOULDN'T KILL YOU!" He screams. It's so loud I'm sure everyone in Panem can hear it. His head darts up and his wild eyes lock on mine. Without conscious thought, I slowly back away. Cato starts to rise and I find myself stumbling backwards as he rushes towards me.

"Cato, stop!" I yell, throwing my hands in front of my face. He doesn't stop. He plows into me and I would have fallen if he wasn't holding me. It isn't an attack, it's an embrace.

I push him away.

"Cato, you can't do that! You can't go crazy like that!"

"I'm sorry, Clove. I'm sorry I yelled at you-"

"I don't care if you yelled at me! I care that you just lost your mind! You... You left me, Cato."

"I didn't mean to. I... Clove. I won't... I..." He's breathing hard, and I wonder for a moment if he's still out of it.

"Don't leave melike that."

Cato takes slow steady breaths, trying to calm down. A memory of a similar outburst last year lingers on the verge of conscious thought.

"I won't," he whispers. "I promise."