To Splinter A Soul

Chapter 19- Joke

Sunday, 8th November 1992

"Here, this will warm you up." Ben picked up the patch work quilt that was draped over the foot of his bed and wrapped it around Becca's shoulders. "Did your uncle tell you I've tried calling?"

When she didn't respond, Ben asked her if she wanted a warm drink.

She shook her head and continued to watch the lava lamp on Ben's desk. Red, amorphous blobs rose and sunk languidly in the glass tube, casting their shadow on the wall behind. Probably to break the silent tension in the room, Ben went over to the midi hi-fi system, selected a cd from the six-foot high music storage tower, gently pushing it into the CD Player. Once the machine whizzed into life, he pressed the random button and the melancholic sound of Fall At Your Feet by Crowded House began to play. As Neil Finn's soulful lyrics about a man asking a woman to share her sorrow and pain, floated out, Ben turned around and caught her looking up at him. He smiled at her apologetically for the choice of track and turned the volume down a little.

Seated back next to her, they listened in silence for a while.

"I can put something else on if you'd prefer?"

"No, it's fine. I love this album." She had finally spoken. "Your mum doesn't mind me being here this late, does she?"

Ben smiled, warmly. "Mum's fast asleep. She's been on the early shift for the last couple of days, so she rarely makes it to 7 p.m. without falling asleep. She's on nights from tomorrow, so she needs all the sleep she can get."

"What does your mum do?"

"She's a midwife."

"Wow. You must be really proud of her."

She loved the look on his face when he talked about his mum.

"We are. She emigrated here on her own and put herself through nursing school. She then raised Nic and me single-handed after our dad ran on us ten years ago."

"Do you get on with your brother?" She asked, trying not think of her own dad.

He chuckled. "Nic is my sister, Nicola. She's training to be an officer in the RAF. We don't get to see her much these days."

Becca had always wished for a sibling. Someone to grow up with, to play with...to bury her father with. "Do you get along?"

"We do now. Now that I'm no-longer trying to read her diary or pull her hair."

Becca surprised herself by laughing.

The tracks changed and Four Seasons In One Day began playing.

Four seasons in one day, lying in the depths of your imagination. Worlds above and worlds below...

She shivered. Did every song have some subliminal message for her?

"Here, let me warm you up." Ben shuffled over, placing his arm over her shoulder.

Becca could feel his body heat creeping into her own. Her body craved the warm, physical connection and felt herself lean into him. She closed her eyes. Small tingles trickled down her spine, as he absent-mindedly began playing with her hair.

"Becca," he said, tentatively, "your uncle told me what happened. You can't blame yourself for the accident."

The macabre scene flashed in her.

"It wasn't."

"Wasn't what?"

"An accident."

"Honestly, Becca, how were you to know the weather would change like that, or the railings would give way. How can you blame yourself for that?"