Black Hope, White Despair

Prologue

{Under editing}

I'm lonely. Well to be honest, I enjoy being alone. I had friends, but I always preferred being alone. It made me happy in a way. But when I didn't want to be alone was when I got bullied. People would punch me and call me stupid ass names. They said I was over weight when I clearly wasn't, they say I'm short when I'm the average height (And if your not your still awesome), and they make fun of my image. I always thought I looked okay, I never really thought I was beautiful or ugly, at times I did but I just knew I was another face in the crowd. My figure wasn't all that great, nor my chest. (Unless you have big boobs or a nice ass, or a fit body.)

My best friend, the friend I always hung out with, actually said things I never thought to imagine. She told me I was more beautiful than the most popular girl in school, she told me I was graceful and smart, that my body shape was divine, and I was smarter than more people and understanding. I never believed her, I always said she was wrong, but I would always replay that scene over and over again.

My parents never understood me either. They thought I was depressed so they made me see the counselor, but she said I was fine and dandy. I never really smiled because I didn't see the point, but I was always happy. Dad would always play around with me and crack dad jokes here and there. Mom would teach me how to cook and take proper care of a cat. My siblings (if you have any) would look up to me but it would get annoying.

My boyfriend/girlfriend taught me what love is. How to take care of people, not screw around, and actually feel what love was. He/She/They would always see the good in me and try to look past my flaws. I was lucky to have him/her/them as my partner and not some psychopath.

I was never suicidal or depressed really, but deep inside something felt wrong... I never knew what it was but it hurt. Mom died recently and Dad said he wanted to marry his ex. I asked for money so I could move out and Dad gave me Moms savings. "Now sweetie, are you sure you want to live on your own?" He asks me and I nod. I was confident, it can't be hard.

"Yes Daddy, I do," I give him a soft smile and I see his face light up instantly. He cuffs my cheeks with his hands.

"Oh how I love to see you smile dear, it's quite a rare sight," He kisses my fore head and I go off and start packing my bags. I pack all my clothes, all my stuffed animals, all my anime and manga, all my posters, all my electronics and chargers, all my cats belongings and food, my curtains, almost everything in my room. I have like five suitcases so why not?

"Hey Dad?" I walk out of my room. "Can I have my car keys?" I ask him and he tosses me my keys. "Thanks," I say and then catch my keys. I take each suitcase one at a time to my car and then go back inside one last time.

"You're growing up so fast dear... Don't ever forget me, and don't forget to visit," He says hugging me and crying softly. I never saw a man cry, especially my dad. I hug him back and nod.

"I promise I'll visit and I'll stay young for as long as I can!" I laugh and kiss him and pull away. "Please don't cry, thats not a good way to teach your child..." I give a light chuckle, obviously joking. I hear him chuckle and he hands me over my cat, Mary. I hold her and kiss my dads cheek once again.

I say my good byes to my siblings and Dad one last time before I walk out the door. I walk to my car, opening the drivers door. I get in, sitting on the comfy seating. I close the door and put the key in the car, turning it, and turning on the engine. I don't have my drivers license yet, but I'm allowed to drive since I'm practicing. I put the ignition onto D (drive, duh) and start pulling out of the drive way.