Chapter 3 - The Day I most dreaded (3 months later)
Russell POV
As I heard Jon knocking at my door I rushed to let him in whilst still standing in my boxers; dyed pink after an unfortunate washing incident. My top half was bare and I felt the wind nip at my skin as I opened the door. 'Hey' I said pulling him in for a kiss and cuddle. 'Is this how you greet all your guests now?' said Jon. I smiled and gave him a wink 'No only you' I said 'thought it would save on the undressing later'. Jon gave me a look that said 'Don't even go there' and we moved into the living room. 'Nervous?' he asked as I logged onto twitter. 'Not really' I said. Of course inside I was but that's not going to make him feel better if I admit it. 'How does this sound?' I asked Jon showing him my tweet. I hear him tut as he rewords the tweet and adds some punctuation.
'You're so bad for that' I said.
'Yeah I'm the bad one' he replies. I put my arms around him from behind and tickle his sides; soon he is on the floor, kicking out and begging me to stop through his laughter and tears. 'You know what I want to hear' I said 'say Russell's right again'. He was flailing his arms but I kept on tickling and soon he gave in 'Russell's right again' he said and I stood up, out stretching my hand which he used to help himself up. I scrolled up and looked at the newly written tweet: 'hey guys... just going to come out and say it: I'm gay.' I reread and reread and finally bit the bullet and pressed send. 'Done' I said sighing. 'I'm really glad you would do this for me' said Jon. He was grinning and I felt like up until a few months ago I had never seen him smile; well truly smile. 'It's all for you' I said kissing him quickly. 'Anything you want you got' I whispered in his ear and could practically feel the heat rolling from his checks. 'I love you' I added kissing him again but on the check this time. I don't know why I decided that now was the best time to say those three particular words but it felt right I guess. On the day that Jon had fretted most about was the day he could now remember as special. If he says it back. Why hasn't he said it back?
Jon's POV
'I love you' he said kissing my check. I stopped I was suddenly frozen to the spot and unable to think. Nobody had told me that; well family obviously and the occasional crazed fan, but not like this. 'I... I...' I gulped and felt Russell's hand on my shoulder 'you don't have to say it back' he said trying to sound okay but I knew he was hurting. I thought back to the only time I had ever seen Russell hurting like this, after his girlfriend dumped him via text. I thought about how I had failed to comfort him too scared that it would be crossing the friend line. That my being gay would somehow mean that it was inappropriate to hold him and make him better. Then in my mind I zoomed forward to that day a few months back. Three months exactly. It seemed a good amount of time to plan coming out. I thought of how he had seen my tears and had lifted my head with his caring hands and made me feel a hundred times better. I can do this. 'I love you too' I said shakily. He let go of his held breath and hugged me tightly. Our arms squeezed around one another and I could smell the scent of his apple shampoo wafting from his hair. I run my hands up to feel it. They meander carelessly thought every strand and I can feel Russell giggling. I can't believe this is happening. After three whole months I still think everyday will be the last. I guess that's a good philosophy though: 'live each day as your last'. Well if it's good enough for Ronan Keaton.
Russ POV
Thank god he said it back was all I could think as our hug ended and we separated. 'better check twitter' said Jon scrolling down the screen. 'Russell you're trending' he said happily. I wondered briefly why he was happy that it seemed everyone did care but then I realized he meant something else. The hash tag wasn't 'Russell's gay' or anything like that; the trend was 'doing it for Russ'. A after only a few minutes I had hundreds of tweets ranging from 'if @Russ can do it so can I: I'm gay too' or 'whilst we're admitting: I cheated on my A levels. @Russ' and tons with simple messages of congratulations: 'well done @Russ. Coming out takes courage and we need people like you to lead the trend'.
