i saw you.
it was the middle of summer when i first locked eyes with you. you were holding a map, a confused look crossing your face, until you saw and approached me. you had these beautiful brown eyes. those beautiful brown eyes that never left my mind. those beautiful brown eyes that still haunt me to this day. i felt brainwashed by your stare while you asked me for directions. i said i didn't know. but i did. and you still didn't. so you went and asked someone else. my gaze never left you.
i met you.
it was nearing midnight when i heard a knock or two from my door. with heavy and sleepy steps, i made my way to the entrance and yanked the door open. such familiar eyes. it was you. and the squeaking sound of the hinges made you cringe, and giggle afterwards. you were in the arms of my best friend, spencer, who looked a bit more exasperated than apologetic. i let you two in. he said, "this is brendon. he's drunk. couldn't walk. and his apartment is too far. can he be your burden for now? thanks." as soon as spencer let you go, you were soon passed out on the couch, fast asleep. what an idiot.
i loved you.
brendon, a beautiful name of a beautiful man with a beautiful voice. not long after you passed out on my couch, you joined spencer and i's band. we started playing music. we started getting carried away. i remember the first time your lips touched mine. they were so soft and gentle, almost as if i was kissing a cotton ball. your breath smelled of spearmint toothpaste. and your eyes.. your eyes were brighter than any time before. the way you caressed my cheek and looked at me with such admiration, i could've melted. i love you.
no.. i loved you.
i left you.
it was the summer of 2009 when i asked you out for a quick walk. there was a festival held in the city, and i wanted to take you there. you agreed. the walk we had was brief. barely any words were spoken. we fought the night before, like we did for the past few months. by that time, we were numb to the pain we caused each other. and we didn't care anymore. we didn't care about life, about the fights.. we didn't care about each other. i held your hand, you intertwined our fingers. as soon as we reached the end of the festival, we looked ahead to see a beautiful shore. i let go of your hand, you did the same. we both knew what was about to happen. i looked at you, cupped your cheek, and gave you one last kiss. one last stare. one last goodbye. and we both went to our separate ways.
in cape town.
