His Girl

Space & Time

"Mads?" He prompts, the desperation in his voice breaking my heart. His blue eyes sparkling with tears yet to fall as his grip on my hands tightens the more I try to wriggle them free.

"Danny...I love you...but I love the you I thought I knew. I don't know who you are..."

"You're the only person who knows the real me, you have to believe that if nothing else." He demands cutting me off before I can finish. Why does he have to make this harder than it already is?

"The man I spent my life in love with was never a murderer Danny. He was my hero, my best friend and the only person I truly loved. I am in love with the image I have of you and not who you really are. How is that fair to any of us? Maybe I have been selfish, always taking and never caring what it costs." I whimper wanting to say none of this matters and I love him, I always have. But I can't.

"Madeline I don't care if this is unfair...I only care that I will love you and only you till the end of time. I have never hurt you Madeline, everything I have done is for you. To protect you." He argues the fight burning in his eyes. This is what I wanted for so long, until I shut it down. Now I just want him to take it all back.

"Danny..."

"No Madeline the first life I took was to save yours and your Mothers. If I hadn't of killed him he would of killed you."

"Don't you dare put this on me Daniel Cortez!" I seethe how dare he blame me.

"Rosa as you call her. You want to know why she looks so similar to you? Do you really Madeline?" I stiffen at his question but don't dare reply. He said he didn't kill her! Can I handle anymore of this?

"I didn't kill her, I told you I didn't and I meant it. She was suppose to be YOU! She was a hit gone wrong, she died because she looked like you." I can't move from shock and disgust. Completely stunned to silence. That woman lost her life because of me. It was suppose to be me.

"I had to murder the money man behind the hit, again to keep you safe." He explains his voice harsh and cold like its nothing to him to end a life.

"I did it for you, I would do it again in a heartbeat to protect you." He whispers his voice now somber yet his face a mask of cold, hard determination. I have now doubt he means this.

"I can't do this right now Danny. I need some time and space to think." I state firmly knowing he is going to protest. I can't handle this now. Today has been too much. Ignorance is bliss and I want back my bliss.

"Madeline, you can't just disappear. How can I can keep you safe if I don't know where you are?" He tries to reason with me his hand resting on my elbow.

"I was stood in front of you when I was shot." I fire back knowing its a low blow but need to hurt and run is taking over. I want to lick my wounds before anyone can inflict anymore. Can't he see what this is all doing to me. A few short months ago  I would have loved nothing more than to hear him say he loves me because secretly I never let go of the crush, it just developed into more. But now, now it's all tainted with lies and deceit.

"I can't do this right now." It's the best I can come up right now. My brain is mush. I am trying desperately to sift through the wreckage of all the bombs that have been dropped on me today.

"Madeline." He shouts after me as I walk the short distance to my car ignoring his pleas. With every step the sound of the gravel under my feet make my heart feel heavier. Am really leaving behind the only man who has never left me? The only man I have ever truly loved. I didn't love my Papa, not really. I idolized him, sure, I craved his attention but that's where it ends. But Danny... He is everything, he always was.

"Space and time." I shout behind me as I close the door and hit the gas. Leaving Danny there alone wondering if I will come back.

"Space and time Madeline." I breathe out a breath I didn't realise I was holding and fight the exhaustion overwhelming my body as I concentrate on the open road before me.

"Space and Time."