To Rely // a Rogue One fanfiction

balcony

Cassian was having trouble keeping Jyn off his mind. The kind of trouble that keeps you up at night, or distracts you during missions. He knew they both were busy doing their own things, but Cassian couldn't help but wonder: was Jyn getting better? Would she be able to go on missions again? Was she interested in him at all?

The way she held his hand that one day, she was sure she wanted to be around him often. But his insecurities told him otherwise. How could Jyn possibly have any interest in somebody she couldn't see?

It troubled him non-stop. He would see her now and then, walking with her nurse with a staff similar to Chirrut's. Of course she would use a staff. Jyn would pick a weapon over a walking stick any day.

Although he didn't see her often, he knew she was getting better at getting around. She walked more confidently, using all the senses she could to strengthen herself. He was glad about it.

Coming back from the showers one night, Cassian had a light t-shirt on and comfortable pants. He decided against heading right to bed, and decided to go to a balcony jutting out from the side of the temple for fresh air and a look at the sky. And to hopefully clear his cluttered mind.

Stepping out onto the cool stone, he rested his elbows on the edge of the stone fence between him and the sky. Breathing in slowly, Cassian filled his lungs with the crisp night air, and breathed out slowly.

The breeze ran cold against his still-damp skin. He ran a hand through his wet hair, looking up at the sky.

He barely noticed the figure approach next to him.

He turned his head to the noise of footsteps. A figure wearing light clothes and a large scarf thrown around their neck approached the opposite side of the balcony - holding a staff.

Jyn stepped into the moonlight and took a deep breath.

Cassian watched silently, not wanting to disturb her. Her hair was down, splaying over the grayish scarf that looped around her neck lightly. Her eyes looked in any direction, and when he could see them well, he was still met with a brilliant green. Her hand was firm around her metal staff, but still fragile and fair. Her lips were rosy-pink, as was the tint to her cheeks.

Cassian couldn't help but stare.

He finally gathered the courage to approach her. He let his slow footsteps toward her be heard so she knew somebody was coming. She turned her head in the direction of his footsteps, a curious yet calm look on her features.

"It's me," He said, reaching her side, "Cassian."

"Oh," she responded, tugging on her scarf sheepishly, "Thought you were Amir coming to chide me for not being in bed."

He chuckled. "No. I'm just not tired." He swore she moved closer to him.

"Yeah, me neither." She took another deep breath. "You smell good, did you shower?"

Cassian smiled at her. "Indeed I did, thank you for noticing." She giggled.

It was quiet for a bit. Strangely, it wasn't uncomfortable.

"How's the sky tonight?" Jyn asked him.

"It's fantastic," Cassian chimed, "Not cloudy at all. The stars are very bright." He looked down at her.

She was looking towards the sky, trying to imagine what he described. His heart jumped into his throat.

"There are a couple cargo ships going by, and you can see some moons in the distance."

Jyn's hand brushed lightly against his. He swallowed hard. He felt kind of stupid - a spy for the rebellion getting so frazzled over something like this. But, then again, he was alone, on a balcony on a clear night, with Jyn Erso.

"Can I tell you something?" Jyn asked.

"Of course."

"Tomorrow I'm going to talk to Mon Mothma about two things. I'm going to ask her if I could begin fighting lessons privately with some other rebels. I want to start doing missions again."

"Jyn, that's great!" Cassian chirped, "I'm so glad to see you've come this far."

Jyn felt the slight, reassuring pat of his hand on her shoulder, an electric current running through her at his touch. It was like she could see him - his after shower hair, soft shirt, warm smile. Her breath shuddered.

"It's going to be tough, but I've come this far, right? There's always room to fight," she said, taking words from Cassian. She knew he was smiling down at her. The bubbling she felt in her stomach was a dead giveaway.

"That's right." Cassian was scanning the features of her face in the moonlight over and over. Could she tell that he was? He didn't care at this point. He couldn't wait to take on missions with her and fight by her side again. He would do everything to ensure their safety and to complete the mission effectively. He knew that she wouldn't bring them down. Jyn would get the hang of it - especially with him by her side. Or was that not what she wanted? Cassian was still in the unknown about whether she wanted him with her or to work independently - or with Amir.

"There's one more thing," she said, fiddling with her scarf nervously. She could feel Cassian's warm, questioning gaze upon her. "You know how I've been around Amir so much?"

"Of course," Cassian replied softly.

"Well, to make a long story short, I don't like the fact that Amir sticks around because she has to. Because it's her job. I think about Chirrut and Baze a lot, Cassian. They were inseparable; one drove the other and they could rely on each other equally. I'm know I can get stronger, but I can't do things alone. I want somebody who knows me and sticks around because they want to," the words flowed through her mouth like a river, and she was so nervous asking a captian this, "Amir doesn't know me. You know me."

She could tell Cassian was close to her. She could feel his warm breath hitting her face calmy.

When Cassian was silent, Jyn began to panic, and rambled; "Well, I mean you don't have to if you're too busy and you might be uncomfortable with stuff because you'll basically have to live with me but honestly I'd be fine with living with you because I'm so comfortable around you it's insane," she cut herself off, feeling her face heat up. She felt childish.

Cassian, being the fool he was, was silent simply because he was taking in the sight of a rosy pink blush dawning upon Jyn's fair cheeks. He couldn't help but smile. He really hoped Jyn couldn't tell he was smiling like an idiot.

"Jyn, I'd be more than happy to do that. Since Scarif, it's not exactly easy being apart from you anyways," he scratched the back of his neck, "We make a good team. I'd hate to see that die." He hoped he didn't sound too formal.

A smile crept onto Jyn's features. Pure excitement coursed through her body. "I'll talk to Mon Mothma tomorrow, then." Their hands brushed again. Cassian made the courageous decision to find her fingers, intertwining them with his own. Jyn felt more electricity.

"I'm always going to be here," Cassian said, squeezing her hand. Jyn's heart thumped in her chest, his words speaking levels.

She brushed her thumb lightly over his knuckles. "Same goes for me, Captain."

With that, Jyn dropped his hand and coordinated her way back in the direction of her quarters, the sound of her feet and her staff hitting the floor quietly.

He watched her walk with confidence and grace, something she was fearful of never achieving after losing her sight. He swallowed again. Cassian Andor was left with a fluttering in his stomach.