Crush On Her

The Decision

     Charlie hummed to herself as she tended to the flowerbeds. They were coming along perfectly, and she was proud to say that her crops were as vivid as everyone elses. There were a few duds that Charlie noticed in other's beds but they were quickly removed or replaced. Everyone was working hard to get that A. But the real make it or break it moment will be the farmer's market. Charlie was hopeful about that, too.

     "You've got a real green thumb," Jessica said, stepping up to the flowerbed Charlie was kneeling by. "They look awesome."

     "Thanks." Charlie sat back on her heels and stared at the wonderful green sprouting up before her. "They'll be more than ready in time." She reached out and pet a moist,  juvenile cucumber vine, both for comfort and to see how strong it was. "They're going to taste delicious, don't you think?" Looking up with a shy smile, she hadn't expected to see Jessica's face bright and angry. "Jessica?"

     "Yeah...yeah..." Jessica crossed her arms and dug her nails into her skin roughly.

     Charlie wiped her hands on her jean covered thighs. "You're not getting any better at that, you know."

     "It's your fault," Jessica snapped.

     Standing, Charlie tried not to take offense. Jessica's 'anger' was cute for only so long. Charlie wasn't stupid enough to think she could stand that aggravation pointed at her forever. She understood it, partially accepted it even, but she didn't entirely like it. She was sensitive and bound to take one of Jessica's remarks too seriously. Like now. "I'm going to wash my hands."

     "Okay." Jessica clenched her jaw and looked away. Then her face fell as she realized what she had done. "Wait, wait," she rushed out, following Charlie to the hose. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to- I'm sorry." She lowered her voice as a fellow student passed and turned her body so she didn't appear to be hulking over Charlie. "I don't have an excuse. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

     Charlie held back a sigh. "I know."

     Jessica shifted her stance as Charlie flapped her wet hands to dry them. She didn't care about the water droplets, but there were a few eyes on her and she didn't appreciate them. "I really am sorry," she said softly. "I won't- I'm trying to change my attitude."

     Noticing the way Jessica was both trying to be in and out of the conversation, Charlie looked about and saw the eyes Jessica didn't want on her. "We can talk later. It's okay."

     "No, wait, it's not-"

     But Charlie was already walking away. There wasn't much of class left and she didn't feel like spending it trying to hide having a serious conversation with Jessica, who obviously didn't want anyone to see or know. She packed up all of her stuff and waited for the final bell to ring. She wasn't surprised when Jessica didn't approach her again.

     As she walked to her car though, she could feel Jessica tailing her. It was more obvious because Jessica wasn't parked anywhere near her. "Someone's going to get the wrong idea if you keep following me," she mumbled, more to herself and her car as she unlocked it.

     But Jessica heard. "I don't want you to feel like you're a secret."

     "Aren't I?" Charlie turned around, feeling anxious but fighting through it. It didn't help her theory that no one was around as witness.

     Jessica clenched her hands into fists at her sides. "No. You're- you're not." She growled at her own stuttering. She was getting legitimately upset as she found her words and came to terms that she meant them. "You're not a secret. I just- I mean... we're not dating. You don't know how you feel about me, and that's fine, I accept that. I wish we were on the same page but we're not. I can't tell people about you if there is no you."