s k i n s

ONZE

Trees surrounded her as fog danced upon the cold pavement

Thoughts raced through her, the paper crumpled in her hand

Little bird 

But is she so little?

For she escaped the one person to hold her down

So now she must spread her wings 

and 

v　a　n　i　s　h

• • •

The car is silent as a blur of green moves out of the corner of my eye, the windshield wipers brushing away the rain that softly falls.

I want to feel it.

Soak it in.

The coolness.

The way it drenches everything it touches.

I glance back and forth between them, sitting in dead silence as they stare straight ahead

As of I'm not even here.

My fist tightens as I let loose a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. 

This car is too small.

The doors too close. 

There's no air, and I'm suffocating.

I place a hand on my chest and squeeze my eyes shut. 

When I open them bright headlights pass of a truck. 

The flash of that night runs through my head like a nightmare. 

His truck. 

He came for me. 

He found me. 

And nowhere I run,

Nowhere I hide,

He'll find me. 

I shake the thoughts from my head and breathe in an out.

In 

1. . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4

Out

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 

And so I repeat till my chest doesn't feel like it might collapse.

Till I know I won't cry.

Till I'm almost okay.

Because that is all I can work towards now.

Being almost okay.

"We're almost there now." The man says and my head whips towards him. 

His voice chipper, how is he happy? 

I feel sick. 

Like I need to empty myself now. 

"Your going to love it." She says and I almost scoff at her words. 

I look down at my hand and see my wrists, my eyes catching on the now white scars that line them in circles. 

And so I have so many scars now.

On the outside.

And inside.

Stitched into my heart in pieces.

Where he cut my arm lies a long scar still healing almost before it stays forever as a reminder. 

A reminder of him. 

Of that moment.

Of his eyes.

Skin tender. 

Eyes grey. 

Skin frozen.

Eyes broken. 

I shove my hands under my thighs. 

I don't want to see him, because I don't want to remember. 

I'd already shoved away so many memories and some I just lost. 

They just disappeared through pain. 

I didn't mean to, they just slipped through my fingers.

I stare out the window, the whizzing of the outside world making me dizzy.

It's all a blur, like everything before this. 

Blurred and washed away. 

"Are we there yet?" 

And when I say those words a memory flashes in my mind.

"Are we there yet?" She shouts and we all throw our heads back laughing over the blaring of music, the sun beating down on us as we drive along the coast to the beach. 

I had never been to Florida but when mom said I could take a road trip with my friends I sprung on the thought. 

Late nights. 

Cold drinks.

The waves, the sun, the freedom. 

"We're almost there, sheesh, you asked us that like five minutes ago." 

I look over at my boyfriend, brown hair tossled in the wind from the windows being rolled down. 

He reaches over and grips my hand, squeezing it tightly. 

I smile at him brightly and feel my chest expand, I sigh at him. 

He's beautiful, green eyes, tan skin, the way he smiles whenever he says my name. 

"You okay babe?" 

"Yeah, just so happy."

"Me too." 

He flashes me a smile and I kiss his cheek, skin smooth against my lips. 

"I love you." I whisper in his ear.

The car jerks to a stop and I reach up to feel my face and my hands meet tears.

"We're here." A voice says but it feels a million miles away as I look out the window. 

Well you guys will just have to wait to see what happens 

I'll probably update tomorrow because this is so much fun to write

What do you guys think of the memory?

And where is she?

Do you trust these guys?

Thanks for reading, vote and comment please